Suzy Homemaker

That’s me!

This weekend I had people over to my house. This is unusual for me. For years now, we never really had people over on a regular basis. I don’t know why, but it was always awkward and uncomfortable in some way. Especially if it had been my friends or family; STBX never made anyone feel welcome. And when his friends were over, he was fine, but would still wig out to make sure everything was perfect beforehand, preparing about 7 dishes too many to impress the guests and getting snippy at me. Ugh. So yeah, having company over wasn’t on the top of my list of things I wanted to do, ever. Now, though, it’s changed.

I love my little house, I really do. It’s coming together pretty well, I think. I still have a lot of little projects to do here and there (hang shade in the office; sand and re-stain patio table; fix lattice on porch; drain the hot tub and refill it with fresh water; get some plants going outside) but it’s not a bad place to call home. And now that I have so much more freedom, I am finding myself doing things on a more spontaneous basis.

On Friday, I went to lunch with the girls (oh man, I feel so cheesy saying “the girls“…but really, I don’t know what else to call them unless I call them The Pack, in reference to something our boss said once about “the wolves” out in our department… and it’s funny because seriously, we are the least wolfy bunch of women ever; no one’s a big bitch or anything like that) and we were talking about the debates and suddenly I just wanted to have people over to watch it with me. So I announced a last minute Debate Party and later sent out an email and text to everyone I wanted to invite. I bought a bunch of food, and even made pigs in a blanket. Or pigs in blankets. However you pluralize that.

Not many people could make it, which I expected. It was literally last minute and all. But everyone replied, pretty much, and I know I can get these people to my house at some point in the future, anyway. Dot, RaeAnn and my sister came over, we watched the debates, we ate stuff, played with a very hospitable Hurley (so damn friendly and sweet to the guests– no more fearfulness) and just had a great time. It was cool having people visit. I liked getting ready for it, having people relax in my living room… not stressful at all.

Today I had a family dinner with my mom, sister and her fiance. (Note: Am I the only person who wants to type “finance” when typing “fiance” or not? Because DAMN I do it all the time.) I made baked ziti with salad and bread. I burned the bread, but the rest of it came out fine. It was the first time I’ve made a dinner for anyone. First time I’ve set the table and used more than one or two plates at the same time. Again, it was fun and I had a great time. Hurley liked it too, of course. After dinner when we were sitting in the living room watching this week’s “The Office” premiere, he climbed up on the couch and cuddled with my sister and her FINANCE. Heh. See what I did there? What a clown.

It’s always sad when the weekend comes to a close, but I feel OK. I do feel like I have less stress in my life than I’ve had in years. Leaving STBX is something I should have done four months into the relationship, like I’d originally wanted to do the first time I got the sense something just wasn’t right. But now that I have finally done it, WOW. I feel somewhat ashamed of the fact that I went ahead with the marriage anyway, even when I knew things weren’t quite right–OK, make that a lot ashamed. All those people who came to the wedding… bought gifts… spent the money and time on us… shudder. I wish I had trusted my gut instincts back then. Well, since I can’t go back and change things that already happened, I’ll just have to learn not to torture myself and all of that shit I usually do. Instead I’ll have to keep on doing whatever I am doing right now, because it’s so much better than life used to be.

One thing I know for sure is this: I don’t want to date anyone. Not now. Not for awhile. I hope that I stick to that. They always say “someone always comes along when you’re not looking” and seriously, that freaks me out. Please stay away, dudes. Even the really good ones. I know I am sending out the “I am not looking” vibe, but just ignore it, m’kay? Thanks.

Because I am LOVING being single and not dealing with another person on such a personal level. It’s awesome, actually. I wonder if I’ll ever really want to do the living together thing again at this point. This kind of life just suits me, I think. And that’s cool. For the very first time in my whole life, the thought of growing old as an unattached person doesn’t scare me or make me feel empty. We’ll see how I feel about that a couple years from now, of course. Especially as all my eggs dry up and go *blip*. 🙂

Here’s a photo of Hurley at the beach. OK, it was really the Walgreen’s parking lot with a crappy backdrop taped to the side of the building. But still. We did this for a Best Friends Animal Sanctuary charity event; they donated the proceeds from the photo shoot to charity. He was a great model. Well…maybe not; he was fairly distracted by the sounds and sights of a busy parking lot. We also don’t know why the girl included his ghost twin over there on the left side of the frame. I guess Hurley’s Ghost Twin likes the ocean. What, you can’t see him? Well, he’s there. Otherwise why would she frame the photo like this? Hmm.

He is a beauty. Have I mentioned that I love this dog?!