I’m not dying. I just can’t think of anything good to do.

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I worked from home today, and as the day went on, my headache subsidized, the fever dropped and my neck is now only slightly stiff. I still look like crap, for some reason. But at least I feel a little more confident in saying, “I don’t have meningitis.” I’m better. If it comes back, I’ll go straight to the doctor, I promise.

I got a couple of things done around here tonight, like hang a light from IKEA in the second bedroom/office. There are no ceiling fans in the bedrooms in this house, and as a result the rooms are a little stuffy and underlit. I can’t do any extensive electrical work–not just because I’m renting but because I don’t know how to do extensive electrical work– so hanging a light from a hook and tacking down the cord along the ceiling and wall is the extent of it, for now. I like the way the room looks now. I just need to finish unpacking this room. It’s the last one to be done.

I also washed Hurley (he smells like baby powder and coconut) and brushed him out with the new rake-brush I got him last week at Target. Honestly, that thing is AMAZING. It gets so much hair out of his coat it’s not even funny. Not that dog hair is ever funny. Unless you glue it to someone’s face while they are asleep. I guess that could be funny.

It’s been very good because I still haven’t heard from STBX. I think it will be relatively easy to move on in my life once this whole thing is officially settled. However, right now I am a little bit worried that not contacting him could somehow backfire on me. I don’t know what I mean by that, except that I wonder if he could try to do something retaliatory as we move closer to the final decree. The only thing that we have been unable to settle is the matter of four CDs we opened in his credit union bank back when we first married. The money in those bonds came from savings bonds I’ve had since I was a baby. They’d matured and the best thing to do was secure them in CDs to gain even more interest on the money. Anyway, since he was the one with the account at the credit union, we opened them under his name. I didn’t think at the time we’d be getting divorced, so it didn’t worry me at the time. The day we filed for divorce we also went to the banks and split everything up. We couldn’t split the CDs because they are not matured yet, and they are in his name. So what will need to happen is this: they mature, he lets me know and we meet at the bank so he can cash it out and I can then open my own CD with that money. We’ll have to do this as each CD matures. What a pain in the ass.

But now I am thinking he could decide to not let me have that money if he wants to be a jerk about things. We didn’t specify the CDs in the divorce filings, so that was probably my mistake there. I should have made sure it was in there. But at the time, he seemed so amiable about things and we made a verbal agreement to do this with the CDs as they matured. I should have at least typed something up and had him sign it.

Well, I’m just going to hope that he won’t be a dick and keep the money. I feel like if I don’t play into his game of talking to him so he can make me feel like shit, he’ll make me pay somehow. And this would be pretty much the only thing he could do. I’m probably just being paranoid.

So do you think that it’s still the best thing to not talk to him or check in by email or anything? Or should I do something to address this issue, somehow? I am not sure what the best thing to do would be, since I can’t read his mind or know what he is up to over there. I imagine he is PISSED based on what was on my sister’s blog this past week (her outright mention of someone using it to spy on someone else was pretty easy to piece together) and the comments on that post. And now her blog is private…that’s got to make him frustrated. I have to admit I am sort of loving this, though. I love that he can’t spy on me like that anymore. I know he went to his counselor last week at some point, and I hope that he told STBX to just leave me alone, let things go, that sort of thing.

Otherwise, if he is building up anger over there…I am a little anxious. I sincerely hope he really will stay civil about things, and not show up here or at my job so that I am forced to get a restraining order or something. I definitely don’t want to go through any of that, or dealing with him on that sort of angry level, in any way.

I want this to be over. I know all I need to do is be patient and stay in a positive frame of mind. I’m doing that pretty well, I think. But still, I have my moments of dread and worry. Probably normal. It just sucks.

Hurley is sitting behind me right now on my desk chair, leaning into my back and making me want to go off to bed now. He’s such a cuddler. I love it. Almost as much as I love eating junk food and sugar. Holy crap. I’m a bloated slob. The temperature had better drop below triple-digits ASAP so I can get my fat ass out of the house and back on the mountain. I can’t WAIT until I can do that again, and if all goes as they say it will, by this weekend I might be able to.Β I wish it felt more like autumn. Every single year, I wish that. Funny how 90 degrees is “cool weather” now.

Well, if anyone starts up a secret blog this week, let me know, OK? I hear it’s all the rage with the cool kids. πŸ™‚

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7 responses »

  1. I don’t know what to say about the CD issue, so I’ll skip any advice on that subject.
    As for the whole contacting him/not contacting him thing… why feel obligated? Unless you really HAVE something you need to talk to him about I’d just let it lie.

    If sis wants to invite me to her blog, you can pass along my email address.

  2. I don’t know anything about divorce things but is there a way you can have them redraft things to include the CDs? Because I could see this becoming an issue down the line. And you shouldn’t HAVE to talk to him or ask him about these things. The fact you are worried he may stiff you is reason enough to try to change this so you don’t have that concern. I would not count on him to do the right thing.

    Darn. I was just going to start reading your sister’s blog too! 😦 But I am glad she cut him off, after cluing him in to knowing about his little spy techniques.

  3. Hmm. I don’t know what to tell you about the CD dilemma, either. Is it possible for you to get a (legal) professional’s opinion on this? Or do you have any documentation that the savings bonds initially belonged to you? I can understand what you mean about him “punishing” you for keeping your distance but I absolutely don’t think you should scare youself into talking to him. I certainly wouldn’t AVOID him, per se, but I wouldn’t initiate contact either.

  4. Hey… I just realized in the first sentence I typed, “my headache subsidized” instead of “subsided.” Can you tell I had work-related topics on my mind? πŸ™‚ That just cracked me up, and I wanted to point it out for you, too.

    He did give me the documentation for the CDs after we got home from the bank that day, so yes, I do have some proof of when they were opened and I think on there it has a mention of US Savings Bonds. I’ll check it over tonight, though, to be sure. But I will take your advice (all of you) and not initiate contact. I’ll just work to cover this particular base on my own and go from there. Thanks!

  5. Lisa:
    I’m glad your headaches are better. Maybe your migraines are stress-related? I have had migraines since age 13, and I can sympathize. Mine actually make me barf, they’re that bad.

    Regarding the CDs. I sometimes like to operate on a worst-case scenario. So, pretend he’s a dick and says they’re not your CDs after they mature. What then? Depending on the amount of money, you could just consider it an expensive lesson, and move on. Even though money is always welcomed, it sounds like you are able to survive without the CDs. If he won’t split it with you, you’ll just have to weigh whether the stress, money (lawyers, etc) time, and anguish is worth the amount you’ll receive. Simple cost/benefit ratio. If you think of it in these terms now, then maybe you’ll decide not to worry about whether he may screw you over, and you’ll be pleasantly surprised if he doesn’t!

    It’s not really a glass half empty-approach, but it might seem that way.

    Lisa

  6. I have to agree with Lisa on this one. It is a lesson learned even if it does suck big time. When I was reading it, I have to be honest, I did hit my head and think, “Why did she do that???” But well, I’ve done some pretty silly things too so who am I to say? (I can email you and tell you all about how I no longer have a job) Anyway, I am hoping STBX isn’t going to be a jerk about it and give you your money back. Good luck.

    Oh and I am glad your headache was able to get monetary assistance from the government. I was wondering how you were going to afford it. πŸ˜‰ hahaha

  7. LOL! I caught the “subsidized” thing, but I am forgiving of my friends’ mistakes like that.

    I don’t get migraines anymore, but I used to- hormone-related ones.
    Lisa’s right, the world is a great place after the pain has made you puke.

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