If I were a monarch, it wouldn’t be a Kingdom. It would be a Random.


I’m hopeful today, because my Mom is heading to a job fair this morning! I found an article online yesterday about a local company that wants to hire 300 people, and the way they described who they are looking for fit her very well. “Seniors with flexible schedules are welcome.” Yup, that would be my Mom. Anyway, last night we drove down to the location so she’d know how to get there today and she was in a great mood. Very positive. I feel good about this and I really hope she hears something encouraging this week!

It’s the kind of day where I can’t stop hearing songs in my head. It’s not just one song on days like this. Nope, it’s usually three or four, on rotation. Today, they are as follows:

* God is Tryin’ to Tell You Something from The Color Purple

* Hippo in the City from The Whitest Kids U Know (all of their songs are excellent!!)

* The Old Gold Tooth (and the rest of the songs, in fact) from the “Rap! The Musical” sketch on Mr. Show

* Some Like it Hot from Power Station (I make myself laugh by imagining all those beats and “thwap-thwap-thwap, thwap!” noises are really sounds of people being slapped.)

Other random things:

* I made myself a turkey sammich today.

* I’m psyched that it is a little easier to walk around today. I still have pain, but dare I say it’s actually beginning to get better?! Yay, I hope so!

* I didn’t wash my hair, but unlike most days like that, I am wearing my hair DOWN. Usually, every other day, my hair is pulled up. It doesn’t look great right now, but I sorta don’t care today. It’s fine.

* I’m glad I bought that “Kiss Me I’m Scandinavian” mug at Goodwill a few weeks ago. It’s on my desk, holding all my highlighters and felt-tippies and making me smile every day. Great purchase.

* Andy Samberg was on the cover of Wired in May. The issue’s circulating around the office and I had to snag it. The cover story? “How the Internet Saved Comedy.” Oh, yeah!

* My sister’s crap-ass assistant walked off the job yesterday and quit BY TEXT. How incredibly lame is that? What a coward. And I hate when this stuff happens to my sister… I’m in the mood to kick some cowardly ass, anytime. I wish I could! Some people are too stupid to live unmaimed for their terrible actions.

* There’s a spider living in my bathroom. It hangs out on the wall above my shower. I’ve decided it’s OK to let him live for now. I’m not sure why, except I like to think he’ll eat all the other smaller bugs and stuff (ha ha, like my house is teeming with small bugs or something), so he is earning his keep. However, he wasn’t there this morning. I wonder where he got off to…

* Sometimes I hear my phone on vibrate, but it’s not vibrating. It’s just sitting there. Why does that happen?

* I hate time zones.

* I am susceptible to cute and/or pretty packaging of cosmetics, and so I cannot go into Ulta or Sephora with money in my pocket because I could leave with shit I don’t need.

* Everywhere you go, anywhere in the world, I can guarantee that you will hear a baby crying or a toddler screaming before you leave.

* I feel like talking like a cartoony Italian pizza maker guy today for no reason. “Eyy! I’m gonna make-a the pizza pie!”

* This is enough blogging for now, because I want to go get that sammich and cram it in my mouth. Bye!


4 responses »

  1. Ha ha! When I had my old phone, I used to just have it on vibrate with no ringtone. I could hear it from a mile away. It was like I was some dog with one of those high-pitched whistles! Although, I would also hear other people’s vibrates. Ugh. Anyway, I used to think I heard the vibrate too. It would drive me nuts! 🙂

  2. Fascinating!

    I allow the spiders to live in my house, too. They don’t bother me, and I don’t bother them- but if they get caught skittering across the floor, they have the dogs/cats to reason with. I still laugh about the time we rented the house out in the rural part outside of my hometown. The realtor managing the property was just incensed(!) when she did the walk-through after we left. “THERE WERE SPIDERS!”

    Like OMIGOD! Spiders?! WTF?! How the heck did THAT happen? It’s not like it’s an old, poorly weatherproofed house out in the country or anything. I mean, how dare those spiders set up house there? I felt like saying “If you think that’s bad, you might wanna know about the scorpions and ants…” But let’s be rational. It’s an old house out in the country with a lot of trees, and it’s poorly constructed so there are lots of cracks and crevices leading to the outdoors. And it was a dry year, so things are coming inside looking for water. The spiders kept the other stuff to a minimum (as did the cats), so WHO CARES if there were spiders! Like her own house doesn’t have a single damn spider in it. Man, I still curse that woman. She and her hoity-toityness make me want to SPIT! a pox on her! and spiders, too!

  3. WTF is up with where your sister works?? I wish she could leave. It’s just too much.

    Good luck to your mom!!!!

    I can’t handle spiders in my house. This is because I have had 3, count them, 3 spiders drop on me while in the shower. I don’t like cockroaches either. Especially those that drop on me from the ceiling like one did LAST NIGHT!! The cats were no help when they ran away from my screams. Stupid bitches. Warn me next time.

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