You! Off my planet!


It’s one of those days where I’m not in a bad mood, but I am feeling easily annoyed by stupidity and things that annoy me. Know what I mean? It’s like people and things are interrupting my happy frame of mind, and I want to yell at those things to get the hell outta my way.

I get so tired of a couple people in my department– the constant judgmental attitudes, the negativity, the whining, the bizarre behavior, etc.– that I would totally love to do the “time out” thing with my hands when they are talking and say, “OK. Stop right there. I can’t listen to this anymore because I can’t tolerate the way you speak, act and think, so please shut your mouth unless you have something constructive or positive to say. And I mean it, or I will thump you with a sack o’ mallets.”

I kept my mouth shut again, though, even though I’d have loved to call these people out today. Oh man, it would have been awesome. Instead I just went to lunch with my boss and vented about it. Fortunately, he’s in the same frame of mind as me when it comes to these individuals, so we each feel a little better now, knowing it’s not “just me” feeling this way. Nope, the black holes of suckage that walk around this place are really there. We’ve just got to be better than it, rise above it and always do the right thing even when they’re sneering at us.

Anyway, let’s move on to some non-sequitars, shall we? OK.

Trivial, Unrelated Story: When my boss and I went to lunch today, we first went to a Subway. But when we walked in, there was something burning in there that smelled like melting plastic, and smoke hung in the air. People on line to order had their noses tucked into the neckline of their t-shirts. There was no way I could have eaten in that place, so we left and went to another Subway. Everything was fine – except we were still eating Subway for lunch. That is never really OK. The end.

Tonight we make it officially: I will be adopting Mighty Moose tonight! I feel like he’s been with us for months and months, and clearly this is just a formality at this point, but still. It’s kind of neat because the rescue group is so down to earth and invested in this. There are 3 women who run the group, and I will finally meet the third one tonight. I’m excited, because when we’ve talked on the phone and emailed we have had a lot to talk about. She’s all psyched to meet me and finally meet all of my boys in person.

Well… except for this one. Not only is he the most mellow and elusive, but he’s also a lil’ “special”… spends a lot of time licking this plastic crate:

I have to try to get out of work early today so I can at least vacuum the living room and dining room before she gets there, because I’d be ashamed to let her see my place otherwise. Fur/dustbunnies are floating around AGAIN. It’s an ongoing thing now. Vacuum a minimum of two times a week, but usually three. Sweep and Swiffer wet-jet as well, as needed.

Last night, I had dinner with my Mom and took her to the Home Depot so she could purchase some exterior shades for her patio. While we ate, I talked about Gremlin and what a neat cat he has turned out to be. It’s true. He’s so outgoing and affectionate, and he does seem to be almost a dog in a lot of ways. He and Moose are pretty much always together.

I thought Gremlin liked Hurley, but that was nothing compared to his new bond with Moose. Maybe it’s because they are almost the same size, or because Moose is clearly younger and has more insane puppy energy than Hurley, but whatever it is, it is damn cute to witness. So there I was, praising this cat and talking about how, really, all 4 of my pets are very well-behaved and non-destructive.

And I get home and see a furious mess of shredded paper towels and a torn-open bag of bird seed all over my kitchen counter and floors. I guess the plastic of the bag was too much for Gremlin to resist, because he got in there and tore three holes in the bag. He also took the paper towel roll and ripped the shit out of it, dozens of sheets deep. He hasn’t done that particular move in a long time, so I was surprised he did it again. Overall, I learned a lesson: Don’t brag about how wonderful a pet is. Because when you get home, he will have been very bad; almost as if he overheard you talking about how good he is and thought to himself, “No way, I’m a bad-ass. And I’ll prove it, too” and WILL wreck havock. It’s one of Murphy’s Laws, I think.  

We are doing a yard sale at my house this weekend. God help me. I do hate doing yard sales. But, if it means people will haul away my old crap and give me some money for the privilege of doing so… I guess it’s OK. Still, the preparation sucks, and the actual hours you’re standing out there with all your old crap suck even more. I can’t stand the hispanic people who suddenly can’t speak a word of English and just want to hand you 50 cents for a full armload of your stuff.

One time I did a sale at X’s house and these women did the whole “no speak English” thing and insisted on giving me $2 for a pair of boots I was selling for $5. (They were in great shape.) I finally relented, and you know what they did? They grabbed up three MORE pairs of boots after handing me the $2, and hurried off to their car with all those boots while I was distracted by another customer. Those horrible, cheating bitches. Clearly, I am still pissed off about it. Apparently, you have to keep a constant eye on EVERYONE, especially after they have paid you some measly amount for some of your crap. I guess getting a deal isn’t enough for some people– they’ve got to steal, on top of it. Grrrrr. Yeah, I can definitely say I am NOT looking forward to Saturday.

I was thinking of how ironic it would be if a stray dog came walking up to my house while we were doing the yard sale. A reverse Olive! Let’s hope not. Good GOD, let’s hope not. I have four pets now, damn it! No more!!!!!

(I have stayed away from yard sales ever since that happened. No, really.)

I’m still moving through my list of 47 publishers/magazines, and plan to submit to about three more either today or tomorrow. I will have to slow down, though, because you can’t really submit one story to multiple publications at the same time. Some places are OK with you doing it, but the majority of them are NOT. In essence, you’re supposed to sit and wait for the first publisher to read your stuff and either accept it or reject it. Then, you do the same thing with the next publisher on your list, and so on. This could, essentially, take YEARS, if you figure in that some publications claim they need up to 3-4 months to even read your stuff. Instead, I am kind of banking on the realistic outcome that I will be rejected quite a few times (nature of the business, yo) so I’m risking it and doing the multiple submissions anyway. I just don’t want to overdo it. Trying to find the happy middle ground that still makes me feel like I am making the most of my time and still playing by The Rules, for the most part.

I plan to juice my first whole pineapple tonight. I’ve never cut a fresh pineapple up, before. I wish I had a big, dramatic cleaver–or sword!– to just swipe the top off in one dramatic SWOOSH. That would be fun.

Yesterday, I wore a shirt that I haven’t worn since my sister’s bachelorette party in 2009. It finally fits me again. 🙂

I got a solar spotlight for my backyard, and it’s pointed upward at my Chilean mesquite tree. The effect is very Halloween-ish, and I love it!

That’s all I got, and I ain’t gots no more.



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