I can watch “Get a Life” whenever I want, because I live alone!

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In a classic episode of “Get a Life,” Chris begins to stalk a woman named Tricia after she helps him when he’s hit by a car while riding his bike. She not only sets his broken leg right then and there, but she also pulls out a welder’s mask and fixes his bike. She’s a genius, “at least according to those silly tests, anyway.” Chris is smitten, and follows her to her job at a fancy science lab.

It’s here where he enters a chamber that contains radioactive materials, by accident. When Tricia finally pulls him out of there, he announces with pure satisfaction: “Hey, my sour stomach is gone!”

And here’s where I finally make my point: I want my own sour stomach to go away!

This past year or so, I’ve noticed that my stomach is more sensitive than ever to certain foods and drinks. I’m also more easily nauseated while doing intense physical activity over a sustained period of time. I have had quite a few bouts of nausea and vomiting this year. I don’t remember throwing up in the past as much as I do now. It sucks so much, because throwing up sucks so much. I hate it and I probably will need to sort it out somehow, at some point.

What I mean by “sort it out” is, of course, see a doctor about the problem. I don’t want to be bothered right now with that, though. It’s not a daily issue or anything I can’t live with. It’s just an annoyance and something to keep an eye on at this point, I guess. I’m not too worries because I know our bodies change over time and our tolerances for certain substances can diminish, and this is a normal thing. I’m just still figuring out what I can’t tolerate anymore, one puke-scenario at a time.

(I threw up yesterday after doing yard work for about three straight hours, and I’d only eaten a bowl of oatmeal and my usual daily fruit smoothie. The combo of overexertion in the heat — it did get hot out there as the day went on — and not eating enough was what brought it on, I think. I felt lightheaded, too, so that’s kind of the giveaway.)

I stumbled upon an intriguing website and FB community today: Quirky Alone.  It’s for all the people who live by themselves, and the many joys and indulgences that we sometimes take for granted. And of course, it talks about how people who live alone develop quirky behaviors and habits. I like this site, because it celebrates the coolness and uniqueness that comes with living alone. I don’t like it when someone insinuates that I might be lonely, or that my choice to remain single is unhealthy in some way, or abnormal. I’m surrounded by women who are either in relationships or are married, and that’s fine. For them. Hey, if they found happiness with someone, that’s terrific and I’m not looking at them in a negative light in any way. Everyone would love to find that someone to be with, really. It’s hardwired into our nature to seek out a mate. HOWEVER…

…the women who are fixated on relationships, on being social all the damn time, the ones who passive-aggressively talk about the joys of living with someone… they really annoy the shit out of me. Fortunately I have weeded out most of them, because why deal with that crap if I don’t have to? But it still happens in social settings, or in neutral places like the office, or in stores if you chat up the cashier, etc. I don’t appreciate someone trying to make me feel “less than” because of my choice to be alone. Whether they mean to do it, or not. So, I practice avoidance! And it’s very effective.

Now with this Quirky Alone site, I see that I’m actually part of a weird little community of eccentric people, and I like it! I love how people share the strange habits they do, or the things they would never do around other people but do while living alone because they can.

I’ve wondered off and on how it might feel to live with someone again, in the future. And it worries me. I don’t know that I’d want to go back to co-habitation after all this time of independence. Here is my list of main benefits to having someone else live with me:

1) Split the bills! Yippee yahoo!

2) We could team up in case of attack or invasion (equals a better chance at surviving)

3) Someone would do half the housework. Instead of me doing all of it, all the damn time.

4) Someone could be home to let the dog out after a long day if I am running late.

But the downsides of co-habitation for me, right now, would be:

1) Having to share my bed with someone. I don’t want to sleep in the same room as someone else on a regular basis, no matter how much I might love him. In fact, true love in my book would understand the importance of separate bedrooms. I want to snore, spread out, sleep with the cat on the other pillow, and hog all the covers. I don’t need to deal with some other person in there at THAT time. Just let me sleep how I sleep, damn it.

2) TV watching/ music listening becomes a team activity. You have to find things to agree on to watch/listen to at any given time. Someone might tease you for sitting there watching Dorian Gray for the eleventy-hundred time, or you might have to wait for them to watch 5 hours of Top Gear before you get to catch up on your DVRed episode of Once Upon a Time. Nah… I have been so spoiled by having 100% control over the remote, and I don’t want to give it back!

3) Arguing or feeling unspoken remorse or resentment because of the other person not doing/ doing something they were supposed to/ not supposed to be doing. Like if one person stays out pretty late without calling, or forgets to unload the dishwasher, or doesn’t get around to fixing that leaky hose they said they’d fix, damn it… See? It could be miserable. For both people.

4) The very real fear that someone could be allergic to my pets, or worse– not get along with them. Sorry, if it becomes a “either they go or I go” situation, guess who has to pack his bags, chump? You. Not them.

5) SHARING THINGS. Like a bowl of popcorn. Or a headcold. Everything eventually becomes community property, and that would take some getting used to for me. Everything I have is all mine right now. Mine. I’m like a little kid that gets all the toys in the playbox for herself. 

So, at the moment, I am content with my life and how I live it. Sure, there are lonely times, and sometimes I am scared because I am alone and I hear a weird noise outside, but the OTHER times far outweigh any of that. I never used to understand what my Mom meant when she said she was happy living on her own and didn’t feel the need to date anyone.

Now I do. This realization is either good, or bad, depending on how I look at it on any given day. I don’t want to wind up like my Mom had been for years, just sitting in her house all day with nothing to do. But on the other hand, to reach that sense of peace that comes with relaxing and being yourself 24/7 without interruptions is definitely worth having.

I like the calm center in the middle of my life. I like not feeling an urgency to join up with someone else. It works for me. And I think finding the thing that works for you is so important, and it does take some time.

Yesterday, I was glad to deal with my nausea alone without someone else being in my house. I hate throwing up in the vicinity of other people so much! Because I never want to be around anyone else who is throwing up… why would I be OK with letting someone be nearby when I do it?!  It was just one of those times where I was grateful to be alone. I showered, got into comfy clothes with no bra on, and relaxed all night before going to bed early. (The only thing that bugged me was I missed having dinner with my family last night as a result of the nausea, and when I pictured them enjoying dinner without me, I felt lonely/jealous.)  

So, there are some overall pros and cons to living alone, yeah. Sometimes it sucks a little–like when emergencies happen and you have to call someone to come help you. Sometimes it’s crazy-fun– like when you blast your favorite music and rock out in your horrible clothes and sing really loud as you dance around the kitchen. Either way, it’s the life I have chosen and the life I will continue to choose for quite some time to come, I think. It would take a really, really exceptional individual to make me change my mind about living with someone. And I ain’t holding my breath for that.

Whatever comes my way, comes my way, and that’s all I want to do about it! I’ll see where life takes me. 🙂

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7 responses »

  1. About the downsides:
    I agree with 1
    2-4, not necessarily
    5 isn’t as bad as you think

    It takes the right partner and they broke the mold after R.

    But if you’re happy with your fur babies and spending time with your family and doing neat stuff downtown and such, hooray for you! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for not being a relationship that does have all the potential in the world to suck ass.

  2. …and I do know that my current viewpoint is heavily influenced by my horrible marriage experience. I had no time to myself, no freedoms whatsoever, and he complained so much about how I slept that I ended up going for a sleep study. (He said I snored a lot, I was really hot/sweaty, and I kicked my legs around too much. Yet, during the study, the only thing that happened was I did snore, but only lightly.) Being away from him is like being out of prison! I can’t get enough of this freedom! 🙂
    And of course, the RIGHT partner does make all the difference. I’m just not expecting anything to happen there. It’d be cool if it DID, but we’ll see what happens.

  3. Sometimes I really do envy you. I think the only thing that would bother me about living alone is that I’d be jumping at every little shadow and noise. There is something to be said for living with someone who understands and needs the same kind of boundaries as you do. Still, I think I missed out on something by not living alone first.

  4. Oh, I’ve done both (as you know) — living alone and with someone — and I’ve got to say: They were/are equally great. Admittedly, I do miss the “creative” (read: lazy) food pairings of living-alonedom. On the other hand, it’s also kind of great when someone throws a chicken breast on the grill FOR you, and throws in some vegetables. See? Equally great.

  5. Amendment: I *do* miss my DVR. Every time you talk about all the great shit you’re waiting to watch on yours, I die a little inside. *sigh*

  6. I never have lived alone and I don’t feel like I missed anything. I think I’m the type of person who would just be lonely (but that might be because of my battles with depression)

  7. I keep saying I’m gonna give up cable and just watch everything online, but I can’t do it! That DVR is one of my favorite things in my entire house. And it’s loaded with awesomeness at any given time.

    Today I wish I could go hiking right after work, but I can’t, b/c I need to go home and let Hurley outside. A downfall of living alone strikes again!

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