Breaking in the 4th belt notch

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I’ve had a super busy week… at work, anyway. Lots of articles coming in that needed copious amounts of editing; three articles I had to write myself (and I have only gotten two of the three completed so far!); meetings, emails, phone calls and various interruptions slowing me down… at least Friday got here relatively quick this week.

Yesterday I had to stay home. I’ve got a strange kind of cold or something that’s causing lots of congestion but not a lot of mucus. I know that’s kind of gross, but it’s true. I can’t seem to get the congestion OUT. I don’t even know where it all is, exactly. Mostly my sinuses, for sure, but I think it’s moved to my chest, too. It blows. I’m sure I’ll feel better soon, once it works its way out of my system, but in the meantime, blehhhh.

I do think I’d be even sicker if I weren’t eating healthier. I know how I get, and how my upper respiratory infections typically run their course, and if this is the worst of it, I can take it. It’s just got me feeling really exhausted and, well, I am a mouth-breather right now. I have Breathe-Right strips and they’ve definitely helped me sleep at night.

Last weekend I did paint my bathroom, at last. And it came out well! I also painted my three bedroom doors, but it looks like I need a third coat of paint on them. I bought a small roller because that might help me make the coat even. It’s not easy painting dark wood doors white. I know the primer helped, but it’s still ridiculous how much work it can be. I’ve often wished that I’d just bought new slabs and had them installed… they’re usually already primed and would probably only need one or two coats. But whatever. This is cheaper. I’m still using the same cans of primer and trim paint I’ve been using for everything else in the house, so I haven’t had to buy anything but new door hardware. I cheaped out on getting new hinges, though. I have left the ‘aged bronze’ hinges alone, just painting carefully around them. Way easier. Plus, it would be super difficult to re-hang a door by myself, let alone three doors.

This weekend I want to get a lot accomplished again. I want to finish those doors and get the hardware up in the bathroom. I have a new towel rack and TP holder from IKEA, and my sister’s giving me one of her shower curtains. Next, I want to move my clothes into the new dressers. I need to put a new lightbulb in my closet and pull up more weeds and spray the rest. Finally, there’s the usual vacuuming and dusting bullshit to be done.

I wish I’d had the energy to do some of this stuff yesterday when I stayed home. I didn’t even leave the house once. In fact, I didn’t even get dressed. It was lame. What a waste of perfectly good time. Feeling sick definitely sucks.

I didn’t lose any new weight this week, probably because I’ve been having some bad food again. I’m already working on ‘resetting’ my habits so I don’t get tempted to have stuff like chocolate and pizza. I did well with pasta this week, only having it a couple of times and when I did, it was a small amount. Fortunately, I haven’t gained anything back… so I still feel good about what I’m doing. Today I was able to use the 4th notch on my belt, which is a first. This belt is totally worn out around the 2nd notch. I’ve started to wear out the 3rd notch, but that 4th hole has never been used. It was actually tough to get the prong through there! But it’s where the belt needed to be to hold my pants up. It’s such a cool feeling having loose pants. Even if it does mean I need to cinch everything up with belts, and it probably doesn’t look that nice, either. I am waiting a little longer before I buy new pants. I did find a brand-new pair of size 12 jeans with the tag still on them, hidden in the bottom of one of my drawers. I’m at 14 right now (down from 16, my all-time high), and I’m excited to be back in size 12s. It’s been at least 3 or 4 years since I’ve been that size!

I saw the coolest thing on Pinterest the other day—take two glass jars, and label them “pounds lost” and “pounds to go” and then get the number of marbles that would represent how much weight you want to lose:

Ideally, I want to lose a total of 50 pounds, beginning from my original weight. That will get me to my ideal weight for my height. So, I want to get 50 marbles and throw 13 in the “pounds lost” jar to keep me visually motivated and reminded of the changes I have made each day! How awesome it could be to watch the marbles gradually all move to the other jar… It just seems like a fun idea.

I’ve finally begun to feel serious about the weight loss part of this. I’ve had great success with reducing migraines and feeling more focused when I am working, so my primary goal is already happening! Now, I can shift some dedicated focus to the next phase, which is shrinking myself. I haven’t wanted to get too wrapped up in the weight loss side of this, but it’s kind of tough not to, when you see your clothes are fitting different and people are commenting that you look thinner. It’s exciting! The last time anyone mentioned “hey, did you lose weight?” I was in high school. In my experience, the best way to lose weight is to not obsess about it, but just have it happen as a side-effect of doing something else that’s good for you. Senior year of high school, I lost weight because I started being active in gym class every day (I had the goofiest friends to mess around with, and by senior year, the gym teachers didn’t care if we played the games properly or not, so we ran around making up our own rules and acting like morons) and I had my first serious boyfriend, and when I thought of him, I got butterflies in my stomach and honestly couldn’t eat a lot. I still remember that feeling of just taking a few bites of something and being like, “ugh, that’s enough” and running off to do whatever I was gonna do next. I went down to 120 pounds that year and I looked and felt amazing—and it all happened without me trying. I mean, OMG, look at me, for Christ’s sake! How the hell was this ME?! This is the result of not giving a shit about eating, and running around like a complete spazz all the time? Interesting:

So, I am taking that approach again, for the most part. I don’t have a passionate love affair going on right now, but I can get out and enjoy the nice weather more and keep busy so I don’t have lots of time to just sit and eat a pile of food. I think over the years, I definitely got into the boredom-eating thing. Or rewarding myself with something bad or a huge dinner after a stressful day. But when I stop to think about this, it’s surprising how illogical that is. So you had a bad day, and you want to comfort yourself. But what’s the deal with comforting yourself with crap?! Why wouldn’t you treat yourself to something totally good for you; something that will actually make you feel better from the inside out? Now, I am beginning to want a healthy, fresh juice when I am stressed out. I don’t want to jinx it, but yeah, it’s happening.

“Because it tastes good” isn’t enough anymore. A lot of things taste good. But the taste part only lasts a few seconds when the food is in your mouth. The rest of its time is spent being broken down by the digestive system, with your organs searching for the nutrients to process and instead being hit with massive amounts of sugar, salt, fat, chemicals, etc. I’m surprised people don’t have fucked-up pancreas more often, for instance. Those things work overtime thanks to the crap we eat. And that’s just one organ that’s doing things it wasn’t built for, evolution-wise. Once you start thinking logically about what food is, and learn what the human body actually needs, all this stuff starts making sense.

I know I am talking about this a lot. I know it’s because it’s been a huge change in the way I live, so it’s kind of a big deal on my mind these days. I’m still trying not to be pushy or preachy about it, though… well, not in person, anyway! I’m still going out to eat with friends and family, and I’m not just ordering the salad every time. I don’t want to be one of those people who apparently want a medal for eating healthy. (How many vegetarians do you know who like to brag about tofu and weird vegetables and that they haven’t had meat in three years, ad nauseum? I know more than a few, myself.) I just want to do my thing, not get any shit for it, and that’s the end of it.

Actually, that’s all I want for life, in general. Don’t we all? 🙂

(PS: I still have that prom dress. Wouldn’t it be rad to be able to pose in it one more time? Maybe I will!)

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One response »

  1. I wish posts like these came with a “like” button.

    THAT is a GREAT dress and I love the idea of you posing in it again!Woo-hoo!

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