There are just a few more thoughts on the whole Jason situation that I felt like mentioning…because the more I think of this, I am a little annoyed at this whole thing. My family and friends have mentioned the following:
* It was very, very lame to break up with me by email. And it wasn’t even a dedicated email… he just replied to my last email. A phone call would have been much classier. I can live with this, and it’s not a HUGE deal, but still– in a way, it made it feel like he really didn’t care as much about me as I thought.
* What was he doing on Match.com in the first place?! He knew he would have his girls with him come May of this year, and he knew he would always put his daughters first over everything, yet he still initiated a search to find a girlfriend? That seems a little shortsighted and unfair. If his kids were that important, he should have known better and not started anything in the first place.
* It’s great that he is such a devoted dad, but I doubt his having a girlfriend wouldn’t have impacted his kids as much as he seemed to think it would. Lots of kids grow up with divorced parents who date, now. Hell, his own girls live in Colorado with their mother, who has a boyfriend. So somehow, it’s OK for the ex-wife to date, but not Jason? I highly doubt his daughters have ever said anything to the effect of “don’t ever date anyone, Dad.” When they get older, there’s a chance that Jason will mention that he never had a relationship with anyone because he was putting the girls first, and they might feel really bad. They could feel guilty, and feel like they kept their father from fully living his life. And that’s not cool for a parent to put that on their kids.
I base this on something my own Mom used to say all the time: “I do without so you kids can have.” That always made me angry, because it’s not like I ever once asked her to forget about herself just to do something for me. I felt like there was room for both– love your kids and family, but love yourself, too. It was a negative thing for her to say, and it set me up in some ways for the doormat-type person I was for years. I’ve always felt bad asking for things, and I never, EVER wanted to inconvenience anyone for my benefit. Hell, I still do that. I didn’t (and don’t) want anyone to resent me.
Well, it’s his life and his decision regarding how he handles his personal life, or lack thereof. In retrospect, I just happen to think he’s only looking at this from one narrow perspective and not thinking long-term. For himself, or for his kids.
OK, that’s all I’ve got on this subject. I just think it’s interesting to ponder the situation from the point of view of the people who love me. It really adds a sharper focus!