This week has been interesting… I’ve been on vacation due to the company’s holiday break, and I haven’t done much of anything with my time off. Except for retrain myself how to eat.
Beginning on Tuesday morning, I stopped eating all processed foods and sugar and instead only had juices and a big salad for dinner. I used J’s juicer, and made a citrus juice and then a green juice. Well, it was more of a brown juice. And it was horrible.
It was a bunch of red chard and one whole yam (both of which are vegetables I’m not familiar with eating), two cucumbers and an apple. This concoction was so gross. But I choked it down. I drank half of the batch on Tuesday. I wasn’t happy about it, but at the time I thought I would get acclimated to the vegetable-juice taste. Just give it a couple of days, and I’d be used to it.
I woke up around 4:30am with a killer headache, and I was pretty hungry. I decided it couldn’t hurt to take a few swigs of the veggie juice so I wouldn’t feel so hungry. So that’s what I did: I wandered to the kitchen, pulled the bottle out and held my nose as I chugged about 1/4 of the bottle. UGH. So nasty! I gagged a little as I finished, and washed it all down with some water. But my stomach was not liking this, not one bit. I knew if I went back to bed, lying down would make the nausea worse. I sat in the living room, watching Alice in Wonderland because that was one of the only non-paid programs on at that hour, and willed my nausea to go away.
I Facebooked about it, knowing my East Coast friends were likely up already by that time and could probably give me some advice on this. After all, J had never mentioned nausea being a part of this. One friend advised me to keep it down. And I really, really tried to do this. But then I lost the fight. I threw the whole thing up. I felt a lot better after that.
I went back to sleep and a few hours later I texted J to tell him something was wrong. Not only was I nauseous but I had yet to have the kind of bowel movements I’d expected during a detox. In fact I was constipated. J ended up calling me and as we were talking, I couldn’t believe it, but the nausea was super powerful. J was in the middle of telling me about the nutrients in vegetables and fruit being the very best medicine for what I was feeling, and I ran into the bathroom and puked in my sink.
Yeah, he was still on the phone. I wish I’d have hung up and then just called him back afterwards but I wasn’t thinking clearly. I just held the phone as far away as possible, and apologized profusely in between all the heaving. (I only threw up water, since that was all I’d had.) He was nice about it, of course, but I was horrified, because I can’t imagine hearing someone throw up repeatedly on the other end of the phone… let alone someone you’ve just begun to date. Ugh.
After that, I slept most of the day and eventually ate a banana and a very small amount of oatmeal. I probably didn’t eat enough on Tuesday at all, but I couldn’t bring myself to go for anything strong-tasting. I had another salad for dinner. I did drink as much water as I possibly could, because I wanted things to get moving.
Wednesday I bought a bunch of vegetables and fruit at the farm market, and did a little better with getting more calories in throughout the day. I also got organic groceries at my usual grocery store… things like soup, a couple of juices, Silk almond milk (two small containers, one chocolate and one vanilla so I can try it), and a Kashi cereal along with two frozen meals– one Amy’s and one Kashi. I was in the store forever, just reading labels and trying to pick what I wanted. I spent a lot, when all was said and done, but now I have things on-hand and it’s easier than ever to eat the correct stuff.
(I did toss out all the candy and junk food on Monday. I still have some chocolate non-pareil candies left from a bag I bought at Cracker Barrel; I think I can eat one or two once in awhile and be OK with just having that!)
Thursday was fill-up-on-fruit day. I did pretty good, again. I went to Fresh n’ Easy and got even MORE fruit and veggies, including a small Greek salad. I removed all but maybe 1/8 of the feta and only used a splash of the dressing. It was so good. Also, I can highly recommend that V8 Fusion juice. I gave it a try (I got the grape flavor) and it’s really yummy and has a full serving of vegetables hidden in there. Of course, it’s not organic, and should only be used in moderation, but it’s worth trying. I also finished doing yard work in the back (raking the entire yard to get all the leaves and weeds picked up–I’d hoed all the weeds on Monday but didn’t finish cleaning up) and had a pretty nice day. I was starting to feel more awake. Like maybe this whole juice/ raw food thing was working… even though I was and still remain relatively constipated. I still felt like I was lighter.
Today the three-day experiment was officially over, but I’ve remained deliberate and healthy in what I’ve chosen to eat. I had a banana/blueberry/blackberry/flax seed smoothie for breakfast, and another for lunch. I drank lots of water again, like usual, and carried a little container of cashews with me when I went out to do errands. They helped when I got hungry.
Overall, here’s the outcome:
* I lost four pounds in three days.
* I learned not to just throw a bunch of stuff in the juicer and expect it to be good. I need to follow recipes. And most importantly, I need to use foods I am familiar with. I never want to look at a yam again.
* I learned I can have lots of willpower, and although I did think about food quite a bit (the whole three days were devoted to food, really) I didn’t give in to temptation. I had my sister’s Christmas spritz cookies sitting on my counter for all three days and OMG, those cookies are delicious… but I didn’t have ONE. I did have two this morning, though. I couldn’t help it. And it was my celebration food.
Wow… two tiny cookies were enough to make me happy! Any more would have been too many. This is new. I plan to remain this vigilant with the sweets and treats. They are OK once in awhile. Like maybe once a week. But they can’t be the norm anymore. I don’t want them to be!
I had a kind of big dinner tonight. I had a salad again, but with a Kashi dinner– pesto primavera. It was so delicious! I savored it. 290 calories. Not too bad at all. Those dinners might be more expensive, but what an upgrade from the usual crappy frozen meals. Not that I want to make frozen meals part of the regular repetoire or anything… but it’s good to know that there are fast options that are healthier and tastier than the other stuff out there. It’s all about making the smarter, more educated choices. I can do that. I can think and read ingredients, and make the effort! It’s worth it.
I do feel pretty good today. I did my hair and makeup just to go out to Ace Hardware (I bought the paint for my bedroom, finally!) and the mall to exchange a sweater for my Mom… I felt like looking nice. I’m proud of myself, you know? I did this. I had three dedicated days to changing my bad habits, and I did it. Sure, it wasn’t as much of a detox as expected, but that’s not all that important. I have made the first step towards changing my psychological relationship with food. That’s kind of big.
So, that’s been the focus of my week off. I was really hoping to do more work on my book than I did. I wrote one page. That was it. And I had all this time…! WTF? I just couldn’t focus on it. I even had a movie to watch (“Hanna”) and I didn’t get to that, either. Instead I was researching juice recipes, reading about organic products, reading a book and a literary journal I want to submit something to, and taking naps.
I am looking forward to finally seeing J again tomorrow night. He has had his two kids with him for Christmas, so I haven’t seen him or even talked to him, really, except for the Wednesday morning puke-call. We have been texting a whole lot, though. He has been asking me how I am doing a few times a day, encouraging me and generally making me smile. I really do miss him. It’s been a full two weeks since I saw him already.
Well, here’s to a wonderful, healthy 2012! I know it will be a good year. I hope it is for you, too. As Picard would say, “Make it so.”