The soonest available appointment


Well, I’m bummed out. I finally got through to the neurosurgeon I’m supposed to see for my sciatica, but the first available appointment is December 20th.


By then, I’m totally gonna be out of painkillers, I know it. Yesterday I took a total of 4 throughout the day. I had to stay home because the pain was tremendous. I spent the day lying down, or standing/walking around the house. I tried not to sit very much, and it did help take the edge off of the pain. If I’d gone to work and sat for 8 hours I would have felt like one huge raw nerve by the end of the day. Monday was bad enough… as the day went on, the pain just throbbed and ached so bad. And it was nice n’ stabby every time I stood up from my chair, or lowered myself to sit down in one. Awesome.

I’ve had just about enough of this. I have been attempting my therapy exercises and to my horror, they seem to be aggravating the problem rather than making me feel better. My range of motion is terrible right now. I guess I could go back to the chiropractor to see if I could get some relief, but knowing I have a $450 bill coming soon for the MRI, I don’t quite feel right making all those appointments at the moment. It blows to have these kind of bills with Christmas coming, but whatever. I’m sure my family will understand.

Overall, I feel wiped out and just DONE with this pain. The nerve problems have now created the sensation of itching on the bottom of my left foot. For awhile, I thought I had gotten a bug bite on my foot, or had a rash or something. But I don’t have either. My skin looks absolutely normal. I finally made the connection that it was the sciatica. It’s so weird, though… all this phantom itchiness. I keep having to take my shoe off and scratch the arch of my foot. I’m learning to push past it, though, since I know it’s not a real itch.

I’m very anxious to get a treatment plan going. Next month. Sigh.

In other news, I have heard from Ben by email. I told him I had a nice time on Sunday, and he wrote back that yes, he had a good time, too. But that was it. I’d told him about writing for the carwash magazine in the earlier days of my writing career, so he looked it up. He read a couple of my articles and I can’t tell if he really appreciates them ironically, as I would hope, or if he legitimately learned something. He also watched some Tim & Eric and said it “was definitely weird.” So, after this, I don’t know if I want to see him again. He hasn’t asked if I’d like to get together again or anything; and he’s coming off as very serious (not humorous) and I don’t want to be dating anyone who doesn’t laugh a whole lot. Hmm.

Meanwhile, Jason the Air Force guy is still cracking me up several times a week with weird text-pictures or emails. His last subject line cracks me up: “Trying to live each day like I’m dying. First step: cough up lots of blood.” The guy’s got a great sense of humor. I might meet him at 2nd Friday this week, so we’ll see what happens. It turns out my friend wants to come up from Tucson for this event and she will be staying at my house, so maybe meeting up with him on Friday will be a hassle. I don’t know what to do, really. Cross that bridge when I get there, damn it.

And Sam, the artist. He’s writing to me a lot. He once had a studio in New Hope, PA, which is one of my all-time favorite places on the planet. He’s pretty cool and seems like a nice guy, too. He’s asked for my phone number, so we will probably talk soon.

At the moment, Jason and Sam are in the running, but Ben’s falling out of the race. Sad, really. But true.

And finally, I’ve got some great stuff percolating with my book right now. I’ve written some new pages and it’s moving along in an actual direction. I know I continue to say how happy I am that I’ve figured out where the book’s going for the rest of the story, but I can’t help it: That is just the BIGGEST news to happen to me in years! I’m so excited to finish it. Now that the big finish is in sight, I can’t contain my giddiness (and happy anxiety)!

Time to go take a walk and ease up this stupid pain a little bit. I have to cut the pain back… tonight I’m going to the movies with my sister and BIL to see the new Harold & Kumar movie. I adore those movies. I can’t wait to laugh like an idiot!!


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