Mixed signals?


I went on the second date with Mike last night. We had dinner at Cadillac Ranch, which was pretty good, and then we saw 50/50 (and I loved that movie, by the way). Once more, we had fun talking and had a nice time together, overall, but something felt off for some reason. I realized it at the end of the date and was driving home. I’d had a nice time, but I got the sense that he might be changing his mind about wanting to date me. I’m not really sure, though.

For one thing, he texted his friend twice while we were eating dinner. It was just his best friend, a guy who is going through a divorce, but still… it seemed just a *little* rude. When the bill for dinner came, he said, “So, I’ll get this, and you can get the movie tickets?” I agreed, but was kind of surprised by that. I’m not the kind of chick who expects guys to pay for everything, but since the whole date was something he suggested (dinner at that restaurant, and seeing that particular movie), it kind of seemed like he would pay. Besides, early in the dating phase, I think it’s better for the guy to pay most of the time because the “Dutch treat” stage usually comes with familiarity and a more long-term relationship thing. Know what I mean?

Before we went to sit down in the theater, we each did a bathroom stop. I was done and out in a few minutes, but he wasn’t. In fact, he didn’t come out for another three minutes. I was wondering if maybe he was texting his friend again or something. It was a little odd. Then again, it could have just been a perfectly normal bathroom emergency. That happens. I know. But something just felt weird in that non-descript, can’t-put-my-finger-on-it kind of way.

In the movie, he put his hand on my leg and kind of held my hand, which was nice. He complimented my boobs. I had to laugh at that, because it was such a non-sequiter, out of the blue kind of comment. He said he’d never seen them “at that angle” and they were “really nice.” Hmmm. OK. I can’t say I’ve ever had anyone say much about my boobs before. They’re kind of unremarkable, really. Not too big, not too tiny. Just there, on my chest, being perfectly average in their 36C size.

At the end of the movie, he was kind of crying. He freaked out because I guess someone close to him had a father who went through cancer and it was a tough time. I’m totally fine with a guy crying, especially because of something like that. But he wasn’t fine about it– he was kind of upset with himself for “crying on the second date and looking like a jackass.” I told him it was fine, and just kind of patted his back until he was ready to leave the theater.

He walked me to my car, and we did have another kiss. It was nice, again, but then he just cut it off all the sudden and said, “Well, I had a great time. I’ll talk to you soon, and get home safe, OK?” It wasn’t a brush-off, really. It was just sudden. I don’t know if he was thinking he needed to get home and go to bed because of work in the morning, or if he was going to call/text that friend of his again. (At my car, before we kissed, he did check his texts again and that friend had sent another text.)

There were a couple of things that I didn’t like, too. Minor, maybe, but still turn-offs:

1) There was a line of people there to see a sneak preview of Paranormal 3. He yelled a few things like, “The first two SUCKED! Why are you seeing that?” towards the line. Umm, don’t do that. It’s not nice. I was embarrassed.

2) A girl was walking through the shopping center wearing a “slutty Santa” outfit. She was also a large girl, much bigger than she should have been for wearing that kind of outfit. So yes, she did look weird, but hey… people do that sometimes. You kind of look away and laugh later. But Mike made a face, stared at her and then said kind of loudly as we passed, “I can’t un-see that!” Again, that wasn’t very cool.

3) Both times I have seen him now, I think his feet stink. I thought it was me and my old black flats on the first date, and I got self-conscious about it. But the same smell hit last night, and I know that this time it wasn’t me. I had just cleaned the particular sandals I was wearing. Hey, sometimes, people have smelly feet… what can you do? It’s not a dealbreaker as much as the rudeness things I mentioned above are, but it’s still not a great thing.

4) He told me he “really wants to shave his head” and he was serious. When Joseph Gordon-Levitt shaves his head in the movie, Mike was like, “Man, I want to do that, too!” Nooooo. I don’t like that. No bald heads. It’s just not good for me in any way. No.

So, yeah, at the moment, I am feeling somewhat disillusioned and not sure what will happen from this point. I don’t think I did or said anything that was terrible, and I didn’t smell. I might have had less-than-stellar breath by the time we kissed, because I did have two beers with dinner and only some water before the movie, but he also didn’t have anything to freshen his breath, either. I don’t know.

I should also mention something that came up on the first date, and I brushed under the carpet because the rest of it was very good: He has a phobia about Halloween.

What is with guys on Match hating Halloween?!

Seriously, what the hell is that all about?

I think I need to edit my profile. Well…I would, but once more I am not feeling the urge to continue with it. At the moment, I have two more important things on my mind.

One is getting healthy again and figuring out what’s going on with my spine and the sciatica.

The second is finally having the end in sight on my book. And this is HUGE. This is something I have been waiting for… for years. I want to spend time working on it, I really do. I want to focus. Dating cuts into that focus. Even if I only do the dating thing a little, it’s still a distraction.

Anyway, I’ll keep you posted on what happens with Mike, or anyone else I bump into. There is still Jason, the Air Force guy. He emailed me yesterday and he’s perfectly nice. I’m not pushing it and in fact, I still need to reply to him. Maybe later. Yawn.

Sigh. I don’t know about MEN. I’ve always loved ’em. I always believed I needed one, or wanted one. But in the real world, they’re not as much fun as the imaginary ones can be. I’m pretty sure I have a mental illness because I’d rather read about awesome men, imagine awesome men and write about them (my jinni book is gonna be so much fun), have crushes on hot guys like BB, and keep it at that. The real world stuff just seems so… ordinary. And I think it takes away from my own awesome time. So, guys had better step up. That’s all I’m saying. Otherwise, I’ll just kill ’em. Yay! 🙂


5 responses »

  1. Gah. I guess everyone’s entitled to an off day, or an occasional slip in the manners dept, but… ugh. Reading this made me uncomfortable. This is exactly the kind of date after which I would never go out with a guy again.

    And I know it’s the Cell Phone Age and all but if you can’t be parted from your phone for a few hours, or at least refrain from checking it in front of the person you’re with, then you shouldn’t be out there dating.

    Something about it all just gives me the creeps. *shudder*.

    BUT, look at you! You made it as far as a second date with somebody, and that’s still progress! I’m thinkin’ Mike’s time us up, though.

  2. Yeah, I have made progress… thanks! But yes, after giving it focused thought as I wrote this post, I think it’s not going to work out. And I’m fine with that.

    I still hope to meet someone in the old-fashioned, in-person kind of way, actually. Maybe bump into a great guy out walking his dog, or go around the corner in the bookstore and there he is… that kind of thing. Much more my speed.

  3. I’m not digging on any of that either, especially in light of the unquestionable rudeness. Poor manners are a HUGE red flag for me, and this guy doesn’t really seem like he has any sort of filter. I wouldn’t like to see how that plays out in other circumstances, like at family dinners or in an argument. BOO, Mike, BOO.

  4. I finally put my finger on the word I couldn’t seem to find for it yesterday-


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