Men of Interest


This post was started on Friday, October 7. I updated it today, and finally shared the whole thing. (Does anyone else have the habit of “saving drafts” of posts and never finishing them? Or is it just me?)

Anyway, here is the original post, and the stuff I added today:

I’ve got two conflicting things going on right now. One very good, and one very bad.

The bad is my ridiculous sciatica pain. I can’t really describe how it feels, except to say it is painful 24/7, and sitting down and getting up from a seated position hurts like a motherfucker. I can’t sleep straight through the night right now, since even subtle shifts in my position can trigger the pain to spasm down my hamstring. I’ve now reached a point where numbness and tingling is setting in from the knee down. It feels so weird. I’m tired of it, and can’t wait to get to the doctor on Thursday to find out what the hell is going on in there, and possibly get some prescriptions that can dull the pain/ put me to sleep at night.

The good one is a sudden embarrassment of riches when it comes to First of all, my subscription didn’t actually end when I thought it did. It either auto-renewed or it slipped through the cracks or something. I’ve checked my credit card statement and there hasn’t been a new charge yet… If it did auto-renew, I will need to make a point to go in and stop it from happening again. Either way, I was still getting emails from the site every day, and guys were contacting me, so I logged in and to my surprise, my account was active. So, I have to still figure out what happened.

Anyway, a couple of guys stood out to me in the “daily matches” the site sends by email. Two had really nice, longer hair and very cool-sounding personalities. Their profiles were written well, and they appeared to be witty and fun. However, neither of them are paid subscribers yet, so they couldn’t really contact anyone or reply to emails. I still winked at them, and sent one of them an email anyway.

Those two guys kind of sparked my interest in the site again. I hadn’t been looking for a couple of weeks, really, and had assumed all the guys weren’t going to be attractive to me, or they would sound terribly dull and vanilla. One night earlier this week during a period of internet boredom, I did a couple of searches on the site for specific things. I typed a lot of the funny movies and shows I like, and checked out any guys who’d included those terms in their profiles. I found a couple that had some promise, but I didn’t actually do anything about any of them. I just looked, and felt a little better knowing there were some decent-sounding guys out there. At the moment, I didn’t feel like making any effort to contact them, and just went to bed.

One of the cool things on Match is you can see who has viewed your profile. It turns out, two guys I had checked out through my searches must have seen that I viewed them, and they got in touch with me, one after the other! And yesterday, one guy found me on his own, and now he is the third Man of Interest in one week.

The first is a 30 year old massage therapist. He is the cutest of the guys that have contacted me, easily. He has a little of that Isaac Marion thing going on—a little scruffy, but smiley and cute. He’s got a great sense of humor and seems intelligent and down to earth. He loves cats and dogs, Arrested Development, offbeat and eclectic music, reading (he’s actually reading Atlas Shrugged right now) and hanging out outside in the nice weather. He is the first one I said I wanted to meet up with, and he agreed. I’ll be meeting him when he gets off of work on Sunday evening, around 7pm.

The second is Jason. He’s a 36 year old Air Force guy. (I still don’t know his specific career in the Air Force but should find out soon… he might be a mechanic.) He is second-cutest, but only has one photo on his profile so far so it’s a little tough to tell for sure. He has three kids (all daughters who live in Colorado with their mother, who he’s divorced from), and really gets my weird references and throws some back at me in some long, funny emails. I think I have emailed the most with him.

The third guy is Mike. He’s 38 and a corporate accountant. He’s OK looking—kind of has the generic look that I can recognize as “good looking” but isn’t my thing. So far, you’d think there would be very little of interest here, right? Turns out, his emails are awesome. He’s very witty and funny, too, and has a very strong streak of nerd going through everything he says. He likes quoting movies, talking a lot, being silly and he talks about gratitude… in fact, he said that one of the main things that impressed him about my profile was when I talked about gratitude. No one else has discussed that particular thing yet, so I’m very interested. Anyway, he only popped up yesterday afternoon, but after a couple of emails I ended up saying we should probably meet to see if there is any connection in person. I think we’ll be hanging out tomorrow afternoon for a drink and some talking.

Flash forward to today, Wednesday, October 12, 2011:

I went on a date with Mike on Saturday afternoon. It was a good thing we met up early, because we ended up talking for SIX hours.

So, yes, I guess I can say this was a successful date! It’s funny… he knows so many obscure references. I brought up Chris Elliott, and he had an actual opinion about him, and it was a strong opinion. He explained why he likes Chris Elliott (“he doesn’t care about looking stupid and he also doesn’t care if the audience gets the joke or not; he’s having fun!”) and we talked for a long time about different comedians, ranging from Andy Kaufman to Denis Leary (he feels the same way I do about Denis Leary: we don’t like him, because he’s too into the “I’m pissed off” thing and it got old very fast for both of us). He grew up playing the same George Carlin album that my sister and I memorized.

Man, we talked about a bunch of stuff, really. I’ve lost some memory of everything that was said because I consumed four drinks while I was with him. We were at one bar, an Irish pub, for the first two hours or so. We had dinner there and everything. Then, we left to walk over to another bar. It was a Mexican-themed bar and he was drinking some very hot and spicy Clamato-based drink that made me want to puke when I tasted it. I ordered a girly pina colada after that, and he teased me just enough about it. I remember watching a little of a baseball game that was on TV in the bar and doing a MST3K-type of commentary on what we were watching; it was a game that was being called off due to rain. It was funny. He chatted up the bartenders at both restaurants, and even this nice older woman who accidentally bumped into us as she was walking behind us. I liked that he could talk to anyone, and was definitely an outgoing, friendly guy. So different than X.

I noticed a few nice things—for one, he was willing to touch me when he talked. I’m not exactly used to that, but it turned out to be a good thing. He would get all excited about a story he was telling, and drop a hand on my knee or upper arm to make a point. Then he was complimenting me a lot, saying I was pretty and he asked me twice to make a face I guess I made while I was telling a story, myself, because it made my eyes “look all big and gorgeous”… and when we showed each other our tattoos, he touched my skin and said, “Wow, you have really nice skin.” I’m definitely unaccustomed to compliments about my physical appearance, so this was an interesting thing for me. I got the sense that he was being sincere, too. Not just saying lines to get me to sleep with him. In fact, even though we were eventually talking about some very explicit jokes, I didn’t get the sense this was a guy who will pressure me into sleeping with him. I hope not, anyway.

I sent a text to my sister at one point—mostly so she’d know I was still alive and not tied up in some guy’s basement—and he surprised me by saying, “Can I send her a text, too?” We were both VERY buzzed at the time, talking about “Hustle and Flow” and the song “It’s Hard Out There for a Pimp” (I have no idea how we got on that subject, either!) and so we both send T a text that read, “It’s Hard Out There Fur Das Pimps.” Throwing German in just cracked me up and I knew she’d laugh at the randomness of it. But I was a little concerned about him texting her—she wouldn’t recognize the number, but it turned out OK. She wrote back and then he texted her again, saying he was having a great time with her sister or something. It was so surreal that he and my sister were texting. I liked it. One major thing that must to be in place with whomever I date is friendliness towards my sister. Even better is if they can joke around and be friends. Actually, that IS what I want. After the way X treated her, no one is ever going to have negative things to say about my friendship with my sister, no way in hell.

In the end, he walked me to my car after we’d had some time to sober up, and we kissed. I hadn’t necessarily expected kissing, but it was very nice. He was a good kisser. Later, he texted me about what a great time he had and how he’d never spent 6 hours talking on a first date before. Since Saturday, I’ve shared a few texts back and forth with him… I know we will see each other again. He sent a text this morning about possibly doing a “fancy dinner on a school night” soon. He has some friends and family coming into town on the next two weekends so he wants to see me during the week. I need to text him back.

So, because there are always drawbacks to everyone, the ones with him are:

  • He can be a little bit arrogant. But, he knows he is doing it and calls it to attention with a sense of humor. He balances it with gratefulness for what he does have in his life, and a general sense of enjoy-the-moment.
  • He looks a lot like Woody Harrelson. I noticed this in his profile photos, and in person, I definitely saw it. He’s like Woody Harrelson with hair. Or, as I got drunk, he started to resemble Will Arnett somehow. The Will Arnett thing is very good, since come on, who doesn’t like Will Arnett? Anyway, it might take just a little effort to overcome the Woody Harrelson thing.

Anyway, this one has potential, and I’ll report back on what else happens with him.

On Sunday evening, I met up with the youngest guy of the Match men—“Massage Guy.” He was off to a bad start right away because he never contacted me to set up a time and place for our meeting. I knew he worked until 7pm, but it got to 5pm and I hadn’t heard, so I sent a quick text that said “Are we getting together tonight? Let me know.” He wrote back and was like, “Yeah. I just got off of work. Where do you want to meet?”

Ugh. I named a couple places, one of which ended up being his favorite restaurant and bar. So, we met up there. When I got there, he was a little weird. Kind of shorter than I expected, and dressed like a guy in college. T-shirt, cargo shorts, Tevas. He was reading an Orson Scott Card novel, and seemed disappointed when I admitted I’d never read any OSC. Whatever. We did talk and have some fun once we both had a beer, but it was clearly not on the same level of fun that I’d had with Mike. He’s clearly 30. I was interested in meeting a younger guy like this, but he’s just not at a similar point in his life. He’s got no money at all—he is staying at a friend’s house on the west side of the valley—and is thinking of moving into one of the most crappy apartment complexes I have ever personally been to. He seems to think it’s a nice place, too. He enjoys going to the hookah bar and listening to music. He just seems so much younger, you know? At the end of that night (one hour, 20 minutes… probably because we shared a small pizza—oh, and he did not offer to pay for me), he said that he thought we could be friends and that maybe we could “chill sometime again soon.” Heh. I said sure, even though I highly doubt I’ll ever talk to him again. I’m pretty positive he felt the lack of a connection, too.

After that I felt good about two things:

1)      I am definitely learning about guys again, and getting out of my comfort zone and meeting people, which is the main objective from this Match endeavor, and

2)      One guy was now knocked out of the mix, making it easier for me to figure out who else I might want to try dating.

There is still the third guy, the Air Force guy. I haven’t really talked to him much since the weekend when we were texting a lot, but I’m willing to bet he’ll end up contacting me again soon. He seems just as bright as Mike, and can also quote a great range of stupid movies. Honestly, I wish I knew why the quoting thing is so significant a qualifier for me, but it is! It helps me figure out their personalities a lot faster, somehow.

So, that is my dating story. It only took me since Friday to write this. Amen!


4 responses »

  1. Good for you! Glad you’re having fun and sorting it all out!

    I’m waiting to hear what the doc says at your appointment tomorrow. A friend recently got her ongoing leg pain diagnosed as two degenerating discs in her lower back. The chiropractor she’s seeing is confident that the treatment she’s prescribing will help. Maybe you will find out something similar.

  2. I’m almost positive it’s degenerated or ruptured discs. I already have the one (diagnosed in 1993) and from what I can see on the x-rays, there are two discs with a lot of “white” area that might be inflammation or something. I’m all too familiar with this sciatic nerve pain, sadly. So I recognize what’s going on. I had a good run, though… no real sciatica for almost 17 years (the first bout finally improved by late 1994)! WOW. That really does sound like a long time. I feel really old.

  3. Yay, I love this post. Your description of your time with Mike gave me the warm fuzzies. I MUST KNOW MORE AS IT DEVELOPS.

  4. WOOOO-OOOH! (imagine that tacky whooping the studio audience does on shitty sitcoms when people kiss)

    That seriously sounds like an awesome date. I also love the title “Men of Interest.” It reminds me of “Men of Genius,” which is always good.

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