The Three-Hour First Meet


OK, I decided to go ahead and ask the guy to meet me this weekend. And he said yes! I was pretty psyched, because it was one of those things I wasn’t sure was the right thing to do. I’m still struggling with the unspoken “rules” of dating, online or not. Do girls ask guys out? Do guys see that as a bold, good move, or is it intimidating? Meh. Whatever. I did it, he said yes, and we decided to meet this morning.

It wasn’t really a date. It was definitely more of a “let’s see if there is anything here or not” meeting. I’m still glad I was the one to initiate it, and I did pick the time and place, too.

We met at a little coffee shop called Coffee Rush. It’s a nice place near a lake (man-made) with lots of tables to sit and talk. It turned out to be a good location because we ended up talking for over three hours!

Some details:

* He is a successful attorney with his own law firm

* He was very excited when I knew who Iago was, and talked about the range of things I have done in my life– I guess a lot of girls he has met or just seen on Match aren’t as well-read or experienced in strange things. He loved the idea of me being an actor in plays and editor of a bus magazine, for instance.

* He travels a LOT. For fun. He’s been to Paris twice, backpacked around Europe in college, did what he called his own version of an “Eat Pray Love” trip this past year, going to Bali, Japan and India. He told me some stuff about Paris I didn’t know about. I’m jealous of his experience, because how cool would it be to be able to travel for FUN? (Not work??)

* He’s an excellent conversationalist, and seems like a happy man.

* He’s cute. A huge smile! Yet…

Here I go again: I love the brain in there. But I don’t know why I am not feeling more of a physical-attraction pull. It could be the shaved-head thing, or the fact that he just seems so much smaller than I do (we’re the same height, but he is very fit and lean), but I don’t know yet. I’m not turned OFF at all, so that’s not what I mean. I just want a strong physical attraction-thing, if I can find it. I haven’t had that in a very long time.

Overall, I would say this was a success, though!

I was nervous and goofy at first, which sucked, but I think I gained some composure the longer we talked. We hit on a lot of subjects, ranging from what we did in high school to some quick, frank talk about our mutual-divorced status. It was good. He’s sarcastic and has a dry sense of humor. I was just super impressed with how intelligent and successful he is… because for all that he has going for him, he was also VERY humble and not at all a snob. The only thing he says he is a snob about is he likes to stay in “the fancier hotels” when he travels, and wants to fly first-class every time. Yet, he drives a Ford Edge. I like that. I would have been a little intimidated if he had a super-expensive luxury car.

Oh, and he put three dollars in the tip jar for the barista. Another gold star!

So, after we were there for three hours (it didn’t feel like it, another good sign) we decided to see each other again. It sounds like we will do a real first date this coming Saturday night. It might entail a walk around the Phoenix Art Museum and some “adventures in light rail” action, before we end up at a good restaurant. He’d mentioned Postino, which is a upper-crust, trendy restaurant here that I know a LOT of people love. I’ve never been. It’s Italian, so yeah, I am down for that, sure.

So, that’s how it went! I have no clue what’s going to come of this, and honestly I don’t want to even spend much time speculating about it. I don’t have to. It’s just going to be whatever it is. And that works for me!

Now, back to my regularly scheduled weekend of sitting around, being a lazy bum after a day of busy activity. 🙂



6 responses »

  1. at the very least, you had a good conversation. bonus that you seemed to like him for the reasons that you decided to meet him. I am excited by this process. I shall live vicariously through you from now on. 🙂

  2. I take it we’re not talking about Iago the parrot from The Lion King?

    I think that, as adults, physical attraction comes later in the relationship. As kids, we’re all about who’s cute, who’s not… we discuss with our girlfriends what we like about every boy we know- because that’s the thing to do at that age. As an adult I’ve found myself eventually attracted to many different guys that I wouldn’t have given a second glance in my teens because they just didn’t have the look I was into. Maybe once we quit obsessing about someone’s appearance, we finally get to know a person for who they are and like them for the more important reasons, and then they become attractive to us as a whole.

    Whatever happens, it can’t hurt to add more uplifting, like-minded people to your circle of friends.

  3. Thanks! It’ll be interesting to see what happens next.

    And Jen, Iago is the parrot in Aladdin; and no, we were talking about Othello. We talked about Shakespeare for several minutes straight. Last time I did that with a guy, I think it was 2003. 🙂

  4. I knew when I typed that I was thinking Aladdin, but then I got myself confused since I was thinking about the Aladdin TV series back when Jonathan Brandis was the voice of Mozenrath and his sidekick, Xerxes. The one time I go with my first instinct (usually I toss that one out) I’m wrong! Go figure! And I haven’t even had any cold/allergy medicine today, yet I managed to muddle together two different movies AND a Saturday morning cartoon series… It seems my refusal to re-watch Aladdin since it first arrived in theatres because at the time I placed all too much importance on it with regard to how I felt about my very first serious boyfriend has done me ill. I loved it so much back then- didn’t want to spoil that by remembering a bunch of angsty teenage b.s. Hmm… I know I read Othello, too, for the hell of it, once, and recall the name, but absolutely nothing else about the play.

  5. This definitely sounds promising! And I have to agree with Jen, the physical attraction comes later as you get older. Because we are wiser and know we need a good brain in there to keep us interested. I am most definitely attracted to men differently now than I was when I was younger. But you don’t have to think about any of that for now. Just enjoy this budding relationship with someone like minded and interesting and relax. See where it goes. 🙂

  6. It sounds like the best first-meet possible! You had lots to talk about, it didn’t feel like three hours, and you’re going to see each other again. Awesome.

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