Bits and pieces of an average day

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* It is very hot today. Something like 110, with some humidity. It’s kind of crappy to be outside. It was yesterday, too. And as you know from my last post, yesterday was also when I decided to take a bike ride after work. I did it, and MAN, did it suck! I could only make it about 40 minutes out there, and pedaling was super, super hard. All my muscles were fighting me more than ever. It had to be the heat, right? I couldn’t have been *that* out of shape from not riding for a week. Anyway, yeah: Working out in the full sun at the end of the day is a bad idea. Very, very wrong. I don’t recommend it.

* But on an upside, hey! I did it. I survived and didn’t skip working out for one more day. So that’s something.

* Gremlin has discovered the toilet paper. And how much fun it can be to destroy it. I’ve always heard of cats (and dogs) who do this, but up until now, I’ve been lucky. I got a photo of most of the damage with my phone:

The rest of the roll was spread throughout my bedroom (behind me), and because they’d already made a mess of that room by dragging my shoes out, moving toys and rawhides all over the damn place, and I am kind of embarrassed to document how horrible it looks, I didn’t take a photo of that. I’ve got to stop letting these animals ruin MY house!! It’s not theirs. It’s mine.

It’s time I take back my house. I’ve already started being a lot louder, and tougher, especially on Gremlin. After all, he’s the ringleader… now Simon is starting to act like him a little bit. No way am I going to let Gremlin be a bad influence on my sweet, angelic (in comparison) Simon. This shit ends here. I shoved him off the sink today, forcibly, and I’ll do that again as often as I have to. No more soft-hand approach.

* My co-worker and I put a lot of effort into creating a wall here filled with cookie-related puns. It’s hard to explain, really, but it amused us quite a bit. We re-wrote famous poems from such works as Paradise Bakery Lost and authors like William Bakespeare (To eat, or not to eat, that is the question…) and we even did the Betty Crockersburg Address… and someone took it upon his or herself to destroy the whole thing sometime between last night and this morning. It’s like our Happy Cookie Wall never existed–all traces have been removed. The whiteboard is perfectly white again, boring and sad. People seemed to like our Happy Cookie Wall, as it came to be known. (It was also the staging area where we would leave cookies and other treats we brought in to share with everyone, so yeah… this was a beneficial table for everyone, and it showed how nice we are because who else is bringing in treats for their co-workers? NO ONE!) But now it’s gone. And we are sad. And wondering who did it. Some no-fun-having stick-in-the-mud, that’s who. 😦

* Last night I was playing on Match and spotted an interesting guy. FINALLY! He’s very cute, and his profile was hilarious. He used a Mitch Hedberg quote as his headline, and included photos of himself that were right up my alley– my favorite was him with this caption: “Me, dressed as a mad scientist, reading a story to my dog.” And his dog, some kind of greyhound mix, is sitting on a dog bed wearing a white beater and some plaid shorts as this guy reads to him. In a mad scientist costume. It made no sense, and was so random. It was exactly the kind of thing I was looking for. The only thing is that he’s younger than I was thinking of, but maybe it doesn’t matter.

So, I contacted him with an email. We’ll see if he responds or not. Even if he doesn’t, at least now I have a little more hope in the internet as a place to find someone unique. It made me happy.

* My mom brought her cat to the new groomer today to be cleaned up. He looks like Simon, but his coat is thick and coarse for some reason, where Simon’s is pretty soft and shiny. She had him shaved, which must look hilarious. But my Mom was very happy with the groomer, and the work she did. And the cat seems just fine with his haircut, according to Mom– he didn’t make one peep in the car the whole ride home, and has been strutting around the apartment happily. In his case, not having all that matted hair probably feels wonderful right now. I’ve got to get a picture of this cat.

* How have I still not seen Rise of the Planet of the Apes?! Seriously. This is the ONE MOVIE I cared the most about for this whole summer. And I haven’t made it there yet. I am such an irresponsible fan. Anyway, this has got to be the weekend it happens. I can’t wait any longer.

* I can’t stop quoting Stefon, and doing that thing with my hands (two hands over the mouth, all dramatic, as you’re thinking). Too bad I can’t play any of the videos here at work (no updated Flash player, boo) because then I could quote it properly, but whatever. I’ll just say the thing about the Human Kite. “It’s that thing, where you tie a string to a midget…and run through a field.” 

We love you, Stefon. Thank you for bringing him to us, Bill Hader. Excellent job.

 Stefon. City Correspondent.

 

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11 responses »

  1. Yeah, we had to put up the toilet paper because of the Decimator back when *someone* didnt clean the cat box often enough.
    boo about the cookie wall. I cant even think of would do that except people that arent there anymore. or one crazy one that still is.
    LOVE Stefon. Reminds me of what I liked about my ex boyfriend. I guess Bill Hader does in general.

    hugs to you!

  2. At the moment, I’m keeping the TP roll under the sink. Hope he won’t figure it out… he can open cabinets and does out in the kitchen. I need baby-proof locks! (Except, as I found from experience at Kristen’s house, those locks are also often Me-proof locks…them’s hard to open!)

    We’re going to bring back the cookie wall. This is sooo not over yet.

    Stefon is my favorite thing out of SNL this year, for sure. Kristen kept talking about him on the trip to NJ and it made me want to go back and watch all of his bits again. I missed a lot of them when they aired! Yeah, I have to go on Hulu.

  3. All of my cabinets have child safety latches on them- because of the cats. Mainly because they like to get into the kitchen cabinets and sleep with the Tupperware. Yes, cat/Tupperware bastard children everywhere.

    Anyway.

    Next time you’re bored you can play that game Half Price Books had going on Twitter last week- the one where you make a completely different book title/concept by removing just one letter. It’s been pretty funny. “Huckleberry Inn”, for example, though there were others. I bet you guys would kick ass at that game.

    Match guy sounds interesting.

  4. Yay for unique guys on Match.com! I feel so terrible for pets in the summer, with all that fur. Plus I just find shaved cats kind of hilarious. Juno’s fur has grown in quite a bit since I took her to the groomer, so the whole big head/little body juxtaposition isn’t quite as severe as it once was. I have no tips on keeping cats away from the TP, as thankfully mine have never done that. You might have to lock them out of the bathroom altogether.

  5. I know your mom’s cat is a different situation but I want to take a minute to differentiate, in general, about clipping fur vs. shaving completely. In most cases, an animal’s fur serves to insulate it from the heat as well as the cold and removing it completely is actually detrimental to protecting the animal from the heat. Again, I’m not taking issue with your mom’s cat- that sounds just fine- I’m just taking the opportunity to post a reminder in general. Most animals (but not all dogs) are double-coated, which not only serves to trap and hold warm air close to the body in cold weather, but also traps and holds cooler air close to the body in hot weather. Removing the coat defeats that purpose. So even though animals oftentimes appear to us to be suffering from the heat because of their fur, that’s actually rarely the case. Folks are always wise to consult a groomer (as your mom did) when in doubt and to ensure the right cut. Definitely don’t try it at home unless you know what you’re doing and how much to cut.

  6. It’s kinda funny- coats designed by people FOR people are made to keep body heat in. Coats designed (by nature) for animals are meant to keep the elements out.

  7. Thanks, Jen. And this is precisely why Hurley will NEVER be shaved! People ask me that a lot in the summer– “can’t you just shave him?’– and I have to explain about the insulating effect of his double coat. He gets what I like to call “the puppy cut” at the groomer. His puppy cut just shortens everything and makes him look neater and even cuter. (I can’t stop kissing that little guy’s head sometimes!) At the groomer’s suggestion, we have begun shaving his belly but you can’t even see it unless he is lying down. He seems to looove this… he likes to lie on his belly on the tile; I think he likes how it has direct contact with his skin in the hot summer! 🙂

  8. 🙂

    I know what you mean. A friend recently noticed a squirrel that seemed interested in hanging out on her shaded back porch. She turned the ceiling fan on that they had out there, and snapped a pic of the squirrel, belly down on the patio! My cats even lay sprawled like that on the tile when I let them in after they’ve spent their requisite few hours outside in the dog kennel. I’d keep them in, period, but they DEMAND (very loudly) to be let out if I don’t.

  9. Pingback: Why do you hate fun? « I Can Has Diary

  10. Pingback: Why do you hate fun? « I Can Has Diary

  11. Our cousin always shaves her cat in the summer and I tried to explain how this may not be the best thing for the cat because it seems to pant more when it’s shaved. But it easier for her to not deal with all the fur so she does it.

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