The truth about Dad’s dog comes out.

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OK, this is something that really pissed me off on my trip: I found out that my Dad’s new dog, a stupid MinPin with housebreaking issues, didn’t actually come from one of his wife’s co-workers like he told me. I asked my Dad’s wife point-blank where she got him and she said: “The pet store in the mall.”

That woman has purchased TWO dogs from pet stores.

My Dad lied to me because he knew I would be angry about it, and he’s damn right. But I’m almost more angry about being lied to. Like I am a little kid; and like he and his wife can’t handle hearing about my disapproval. They knew they did something wrong. And yet, they did it.

I’m so ashamed of my father. He’s the one who instilled the ADOPT  message in my head from the time I was a toddler, for God’s sake! We always got our pets from friends of friends who had an unexpected litter or rescued some cats, or we adopted from a shelter or, in Sam’s case, a “Free to a Good Home” ad in the local paper. Dad railed against the buying and selling of dogs and cats, and talked to us first-hand about the pet overpopulation problem.

But now he is with a woman with a self-centered, instant gratification problem, apparently. She apparently just went out and bought the dog one day without even asking my Dad if she could. That’s so messed up. This is the second time she’d done it, too! Their other dog, Max, came from the pet store on the highway about 7 years ago. My Dad said she came home from shopping one day and said, “Come outside, I want to show you something,” and there was the dog.

He has two purebred dogs with issues on his hands, now. Max is a Jack Russell Terrier that has major problems with other dogs–they can’t walk him at all because of his behavior– and doesn’t seem as bright as that breed is supposed to be. And now Mitzy, the little minpin, “refuses” to go potty out in the yard, so they put down puppy pads and she just pees and shits in their living room. She’s also not trained well when it comes to house manners–jumping up and licking people like crazy and not getting reprimanded. She’s gonna be a mess, too. But oh wow, at least she is purebred. Yay. That really means something.  

Best part? They tell me that she WILL go to the bathroom while out on walks. Just not in the yard. To any educated and insightful dog person, the answer is simple regarding how to handle this: Walk her around the yard on the leash. Repeat, praise, repeat, praise. It’s not brain surgery. Yet when I suggested this, they both acted like, “Huh. Never thought of that.” Seriously, Dad?!?! You know better!! Stop being lazy. And giving into that horrible wife’s stupidity.

I have major issues with my Dad’s wife, and so does everyone else (except my Dad, apparently). She talks non-stop. If I am talking about ANYthing–and I do mean anything!– she will interrupt to inject her opinions, her knowledge of the subject, her direct experience with it, and in many cases, how this subject is handled in Germany. I hardly ever get to say more than two sentences in a row when I am with them. And she and my father both don’t always remember what I am trying to say, either. So many times I repeat myself a couple days later and they act like it’s the first time they heard me talk about this thing.

She’s from Germany, and never forgets it. She mentions Germany all the damn time. They get satellite TV so she can get a German news channel. She buys German language magazines, food and items like shampoo and body wash. They drove me out to a German restaurant for a buffet breakfast on Sunday when I was there… it took one hour and 15 minutes to get to this place, and it wasn’t even that good. (And I hate German food. Fortunately, they had french toast and fresh fruit.) She spends a lot of money on dumb crap, like knickknacks and poorly-advised home remodeling projects. She doesn’t want to move to AZ when my Dad retires, which is his dream. Why? She hates the heat, and she wants to be near her kids. What about my Dad? He’s lived apart from his kids for 13 years now. Like I said, she is so selfish. And sadly, my Dad just bows to her whims and has no spine when it comes to her.  

She took down a bunch of outdated wallpaper borders when they redid some of the rooms in their house… and replaced them with MORE wallpaper borders. They have hot pink carpet in their living room.

And to add the icing to the cake, on this last trip back, she mentioned “the purity of the German race” about two times. How she thinks it’s a shame that young people in Germany today are “not interested in honoring their heritage” and “are intermarrying with people not from Germany.” Um, that heritage she’s so proud of? It’s kind of a horrible heritage. Of course the kids of today want to distance themselves from that crap. It’s the generations like her that keep racism and bigotry alive and well. While she’s lamenting the slow passing of German traditions, the rest of the world is grateful to see it go.

It sucks to not be able to have positive opinions about my father’s spouse. I try to be open-minded and understanding, as I have tried for over 15 years now. Yet she just keeps on making it difficult. It’s just her personality. She’s not a nice woman. You can tell by the short, nasty way she speaks to waitresses and anyone in a service industry. (You can tell a LOT about a person from how they treat those in a service industry!) I wish I could see the positive in her, but it’s just not there.

And my father is someone else when he is with her. He’s someone who allowed his wife to buy two pet store dogs.

I don’t know who this person is. That’s not the man who raised me and shaped me into an animal rights crusader.

Sorry, I’m just angry. I had to vent!!

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3 responses »

  1. I can’t even imagining having to deal with someone like that. Ugh! She sounds horrible. I wish your father could see how she is and how she really treats people. It doesn’t sound like she is at all courteous, even to him! Why did he marry her? I wish your dad would move out to AZ and stay near you.

  2. Ooh, that’s horrible. I mean, she sounds nasty. Your dad sounds like a good dude, and, I mean, he raised you so he must be … but what could a nice, normal man see in someone like that? It’s very perplexing, why people put up with so much crap in relationships.

  3. The situation is so weird, really. We honestly don’t get what our Dad could see in her, at all. “She taught me to have some self-esteem, and feel good about myself,” is his standard answer. That’s great, but it’s also messed up. My dad needed a therapist and some anti-depressant medication… not a new wife. Anyway, it’s times like this when I wonder how well I *really* know my Dad. He’s always been a good guy, really, and we like him a lot and have fun when he comes out here to visit. But something’s not adding up here.

    A long time ago, my Mom would say that the new wife was “brainwashing” Dad, and we tried to be logical about it. These days, though, I do think she has a very suspicious influence on him. It feels like she has manipulated the situation and the marriage to be exactly what she wants it to be. There seems to be very little regard for my Dad’s opinions on things. Either that, or he is just so passive she can just go and make decisions on things and he never says anything at all… it’s probably a mix of both, really.

    It’s frustrating. You want your father to make smarter choices and live a good life, not a half-way kind of life being someone’s doormat. But what can I do? Not much. It is what it is, and we’ve got to deal with it. Grrrr. It’s still not cool, though.

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