Sorry I set your car on fire, Ricky.


At the end of the workday, my coworker left and then appeared again back in the office. He asked me if I could help him jumpstart his car, since his battery appeared to be dead. I thought, sure. I’ve done that before. I was in a good, charitable mood, so I went outside and parked next to his car and we began The Process.

First of all, I couldn’t find my battery. It was nowhere to be found under the hood! Finally I consulted the car manual and it turns out my battery is in the trunk space where the spare tire is kept. How weird is that? I never would have found that thing. So, in a way, I’m glad this happened, because now I know where my friggin’ battery is tucked away.

This car is so different than what I was used to. The Rav4 looked normal under the hood, and everything was in a clear place. The HHR is a little sneaky. I better keep my eye on this one.

So, here’s the best part of the story: Co-worker begins hooking up the cables to the terminals, and I’m just still amazed about my own battery’s location, and I don’t pay attention to how he is doing as he clamps the red and black cables to my battery. Twice, when he tried to connect the positive terminal on my battery, sparks shot all over the place. So, I turned my car off and we proceeded to put the final of the four clamps into place. The fourth was the one that needed to go on something metal on the car. Co-worker asked me to go do it, so I say, “Ready?” and clamp the thing onto his car frame.

Immediately, a little fire bursts out. An actual fire! It was his paint, scorching away. I never knew a car, the metal part, could catch fire. Apparently the answer is YES, it can. Well, I grabbed the clamp off the car and kind of blew on the little fire so it went out. There was a burn mark left behind. There was some hooting and hollering as we marvelled at the fire. Like cavemen. Well, he’s the caveman. I’m smarter. Way smarter. I just got off course because of my hidden car battery, that’s all.

What a couple of morons. Finally, someone realized there were instructions–INSTRUCTIONS!– right on the cables themselves. It explained the whole process and gave the numbered order to attach the clamps. So, we figured out the mistake and within a minute, his car was jumpstarted.

In the chaos, one of my sandals literally fell apart. One side of the main strap just came out of the bottom of the shoe, and then the footbed started to rip. It’s covered with what looks to be a kind of paper over the rubber. What a crappy pair of shoes!

So that was my funny story. I get to say I lit someone’s car on fire now. Cross that one off my bucket list!

One more thing before I hit the showers: I went to the audition tonight, and it was SO fun! I was the only person reading for the older/lead part. All the other chicks there were younger and definitely more suited for the younger role. I got to read with pretty much everyone in the room, about 7 or 8 times in all. It’s been so long since I’ve done this, and I got a little giddy with the adrenaline rush of it. It would be kick ass to get this part, but seriously: I don’t expect it. After all, there was another set of auditioners tonight at 6:00 (my group was at 8:30) and that group could have had a lot of older women actresses. And I think I was somewhat rusty the first few read-throughs. I felt nervous and my face flushed when I missed a cue. I’m not a seasoned pro at this. I’m a mess. Luckily, that works for the character (I think?), so I was able to pull it off. Tonight, anyway. Probably not beyond this, though.

And that is totally OK. I had enough fun tonight to satisfy me. Besides, if I had to do a play, there is the long rehearsal schedule and I don’t like leaving Hurley alone all night when I’ve been out at work all day, too.

I don’t understand something. Why is it I can get up onstage and act, and yet if you ask me to speak in a meeting, I feel sick to my stomach? I feel so shy and goofy when it’s just Me, Talking. But if I get to hide in a character, all bets are off the table. It’s so weird how that works.

I will know tomorrow if I got a callback, which would happen tomorrow night. It’s fun being in suspense like this again! I might be one of the only actress-types who looooooves the audition process, maybe more than the actual show. I like the bundle of nerves, the anticipation, the playfulness of trying on a part. Yay! Fun night!

Off to bed and everything. Because of my title, I feel like watching Better Off Dead now. (The actual line is “Sorry your Mom blew up, Ricky” but I felt the situation called for a little of the ol’ paraphrasing. I’m so witty I could cry.)


One response »

  1. The car fire? Totally something I would do. 🙂

    And your battery is not under your hood? How…odd…

    I love that you had a good audition. I am pulling for you to get this part because I would totally love to come see you in the show. 🙂

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