Time is valuable, and some things just aren’t.

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Well, so. Umm, I am thinking about quitting work with that guy on the web series. I know it is a neat opportunity that came pretty much out of nowhere, and I don’t want to quit anything. I wanted to stick it through and see what happens with it, because it could have potential to be a very cool thing. Buuuuuut, lately I am getting this undeniable gut feeling that tells me this isn’t worth my time right now.

I’m just not feelin’ it. The concept is still a little “huh?” to me even a month later after we began discussing it. The guy and I have different senses of humor, and I think he is in this for different reasons than I am. He wants to make money, wants to have a super-popular web series, and yet he has no real experience doing anything like this! I just have this strong feeling anymore that I will put all this work into something that will never pay off. Not just financially… creatively, too. I’m not all that excited about this stuff I have written for him so far. It’s not FUN. If I am doing something this time-intensive in my off-hours, damn it, I want it to be a fun thing. Not something I kind of dread because it’s taking so frickin’ long to sync up my writing to what this guy’s vision is.

I had BIL look at some of my work and he made me feel great because he said my dialogue was very good. I do think I can write scripts, but seriously, they’ve gotta be MY SCRIPTS. Things I believe in and understand and can go batshit-crazy with if I want to. Now that I’m figuring out this brand-new writing format, I think I can kick ass with it on the right projects. I actually want to write something with BIL because he is very talented in this area. I trust his opinions because unlike the web series guy, BIL has years of actual experience in all areas of film production. Plus, BIL and I can laugh so hard we cry sometimes because we make up such stupid stuff. My sister finds our little side-conversations and laugh-fests pretty amusing. And then she joins in, too. The three of us have so much fun with our bizarre sense of humor. It’s nice to have this in common with them. We’re all weird.

So, now I just have to figure out how to tell web series guy that I’m not interested in doing this anymore. I don’t know why I feel bad, or I dread having the “break up” conversation. Maybe I should write an email. Puke. I’m such a wimp. But I think I have to do this, I really do.

In other writing news, I finished my short story today! I finally had some time and an idea to wrap it up, so I did it. I think it’s pretty good, but it still needs an edit. Even so, actually completing a project feels so incredible. I have my next short story idea lined up, too. And my book’s there, always… Lots of fun stuff to do these days. See? Who needs a web series?

I’ve been meeting with contractors this week, getting bids to do work on the interior of my house, and then the backyard. On Tuesday, I juggled 4 of these quick meetings around work… one before work, one on my lunch hour, and two in a row right after work. It’s not fun, but I kind of enjoy the haggling, if you can call it that. I’m talking about me telling them I have one budget when I really have a higher one, and figuring out what I can get them to ‘throw in’ if I were to pay their price. I’m not too bad at this, anymore. I learned a LOT from dealing with the crappy contractors who did the house remodel last summer here. I’m a researchin’ maniac… anyone coming to my house is licensed, bonded, insured AND checks out with the BBB and ServiceMagic. No more shitty, lazy work going on here. Not if I am paying for it. It’s gotta get done right, the first time.

I met a fifth contractor before work this morning, and he’s the only one that’s probably totally out of the running. He wouldn’t shut up, for one thing. Then he went around and pointed out all the shoddy craftsmanship from the remodeling job and it made me feel bad that I paid so much for such crap. When he said I could get “my husband or boyfriend” to help me paint the baseboards to cut back on the cost, I made up my mind. NOPE. I know, it’s silly. He had no way of knowing I’m proudly and successfully single. Still, I don’t like it when men insinuate that you need a man to help with something. OK, some things I DO need help with. Like getting the sprinkler system installed in the backyard, or climbing the ladder in the kitchen to paint the walls up to the vaulted ceilings. But I made a point to show the guy the work that I HAVE DONE, MYSELF to be all boastful and shit about my little home improvement accomplishments. Like doing extensive plaster work in the light box in the kitchen. Repairing walls, retexturing and painting with a steady hand. I’m not a slouch, pal. I can and do get stuff done, all my my little old self. And I do it all on my OWN salary, with no one helping me out each month with bills. I challenged the IRS and won, dudes. I am the only person on my mortgage, which I just refinanced down almost a full two percentage points. Boo-yah! Husband? Boyfriend? WHY? 🙂

I better get my sassy, independent-woman ass to bed now. I need to get up on-time to get to work early because tomorrow I have three consecutive meetings (including my annual performance review, yippee), a webinar and a company lunch-thing all happening before 1:00. Still, I’m going to like being that busy for most of the day. It goes so fast that way. Today I spent a whole day extensively editing an article again, and it drained my brainpower… but it did make the time fly. And being busy has a weird way of motivating me to do even more. Which is why I finished my short story in the remaining half-hour or so of the day. Whatever keeps me in the writer’s seat, I’ll take it.

And I have to fight the temptation to read “just a chapter” of Mockingjay tonight when i get in bed. That never works. Not with these books! It’s better to just leave the book out here in the living room and try to forget about it tonight. Sigh. But, I wanna reeeeeeeaaaaaddddd! Wahhhh. Oh, shut it, ya big dope. Go get some sleep so you can be alert and focused tomorrow. The book will still be here later.

Unless the pets or the ghost take it. In that case, I’m gon’ smack a bitch.

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3 responses »

  1. I’d probably quit the web series via email too, but then I am a giant chick-chick-chicken. It really isn’t worth it if it’s something you’re doing in your spare time, and it’s more hassle than fun.

    I love that you are such a dragon lady with the contractors. I would’ve been so pissed at that one guy. Dude, it’s not raising a barn, it’s fucking paint. Why do I need a penis in order to paint?

  2. Ah, damn. The first time I read your opening sentence I thought it read “I’m thinking about quitting to work with this guy on the web series” and I was all like “YEAH! ‘BOUT TIME! THAT JOB HASN’T DONE SHIT FOR YOU, ANYWAY!”

    …but such is not the case.

    That being said, I completely understand where you are coming from. I’m not real big on web series- I just don’t get the point. I’m not gonna tune in to my internet every day to watch a video. I learned my lesson with YouTube. It’s just boring. I can’t sit here and stare at anything longer than a 2-minute video, and even that’s pushing it. I know what you mean about the guy wanting to focus on making money and a name for himself. I hate that, too. Either you want to get noticed and you focus on that, or you just enjoy what you’re doing and you focus on it, but I’ve seen the quality of too many web-focused things suffer when the creator becomes too focused on the money and the hit counter. It really ruined things. Such a disappointment. So, yeah, you don’t really want to be associated with THAT, do you?

  3. you know I will do that break up conversation if you want me to… for $50. or even a lunch with your animals.

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