Brain Stuff

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Starting on Wednesday night, I had a headache that lasted right through until Saturday night. Wow. This was a long time to have a headache. I went to work and everything, even though by Friday I was almost crying at my desk from the pain. Whenever someone stopped by my desk to talk, the slight looking-up-towards-the-fluorescent-lights made my eyes water. I had to turn the contrast down on my computer screen just to stand looking at it. I left work as soon as I could, and came home and got in bed with the curtains drawn and slept a little to try to ease the pain. The extreme sensitivity to light and sound (I had to turn the car radio off on my drive home, which never happens) told me it was a migraine. Son of a bitch.

I got no sleep that night, and just paced the house for awhile trying to tire myself out. I was proud of myself, though, because I didn’t skip Hurley’s tricks class on Saturday morning, even though I really wanted to. But I missed the last two classes, and I couldn’t miss any more. Fortunately, we went and he did terrific. He now knows how to jump through a hula hoop and ‘read’ commands from pieces of paper that say SIT and DOWN. It’s so cool. Anyway, after the class we went straight home and I got back in bed after getting a couple little things done around the house. I laid down at 10:30 and figured I’d wake up no later than noon, since I normally never nap very long.

I didn’t wake up until sometime around 4pm. WHOA. Now that was a long nap. Not what I expected. I was so sad because there went my entire Saturday. I definitely didn’t intend that to happen. But next time, I set the alarm clock. Although, my family thinks that the 5.5 hour nap was something my body really needed. A few hours after I got up and had some dinner, I finally began to feel a little better. I still had to pass on an invitation to go see “Eclipse” with my sister and BIL, oh, woe is me. But I’m glad I was smart and stayed home instead of sitting in the dark watching that silly movie. I’ll catch it one of these days, either at the cheap theater or when it’s out on DVD.

Late last night, I got some strange second wind or first wind, whatever… and I painted three doors in my house. Two of them have been primed, without doorknobs, for months now. I finally did the two coats of white paint last night. And I did one coat of white paint on the bifold doors on the hall closet. Still need to do at least one more coat, there, but it was awesome to finally get something done that I’ve been staring at now for so long. I’ve been quite lazy.

After that, I showered and went to sleep and had the first dreams I’ve had in at least a week. So I know my brain’s recovering now from whatever that headache crap was.

STILL…

I have to go get checked out. I KNOW. I do.

I don’t want to. But a four-day headache is a little excessive, even for me. I got scared on Saturday that I was having some kind of late effects from the possible concussion. I began to worry that maybe there was some bleeding in my brain somewhere. There still could be, I guess. I don’t know. I am trying not to be an alarmist or hypochondriac or anything. Mostly, though, I just don’t want to seriously think that there could be yet another thing wrong with me. I’ve had enough problems, not only with my health but with life, in general. I’m ready to just have a normal, relatively non-eventful time for awhile. If I find out anything’s wrong with my brain, I’ll just flip out. But it’ll be in that laughing-psychotically kind-of flipping out. Because, SRSLY. That would be ridiculous if I had some sort of real brain problem. Imagine if I need some kind of surgery? Shyeah, now *that* would be fantastic, wouldn’t it? Yep.

Well, no sense dwelling on something I don’t know yet. So, now that I have blogged it, I move past it and get ready for the week.

I’ve got to write my first comedy script for the new project this week. I’m excited because I had a long meeting with the producer-guy the other night, and he gave me a much better idea of what it is I am doing. I can say now that it is a web series, and the idea is to write it with a tone similar to “The Guild” and, fortuitously, 30 Rock. Pretty cool! I’ll let you all know when I can share more about it. We have to get the pilot episode done and filmed, and then from there the paying sponsors and advertisers should come on board. Yippee! I’m just happy this happened, and I’m open to wherever this thing goes. It’s experience I wouldn’t have had otherwise, so I’m very grateful.

I still need to finish up my short story! I was really going along with it there when all the crap hit with work and the car accident and all of that. Now, I am preoccupied with the comedy thing. But I’ll get it done, for sure. It’s not going away. Neither are my books. Oh, good God, my books. I’ll get to them. I know I will.

I’m seriously thinking of buying a treadmill, since the sole thing keeping me from going to the gym is, well, not wanting to work out in that environment anymore. I don’t want to drive over there after coming home from work. I hate leaving the dog so soon after being gone for almost 10 hours all day. It’s silly, but it’s true. I just like being in my house, and if I had a treadmill right here, wow. I could use it every single day at some point. That would be incredible. I still need to get my ass to the gym and cancel, though. I dread dealing with the guilt trip they’ll push on me to try to make me stay. Blehh.

I have my second follow-up meeting with the bosses this week, too. However, I really can’t imagine what they could tell me that would be bad. I’m all caught up, and in fact I am slightly ahead of my co-worker already. My one boss has been away last week, but when she is there I’m kissin’ up. Being all positive and optimistic and la-la-la. It works, though. In the first follow-up, they said they noticed a change in my attitude and things were looking better. I’m just trying to keep that going, and hope for the best. I’m not sure what else I can really do, honestly. I’m doing everything I can think of. So, we’ll see what happens. I can’t wait until this 60 day thing is over in September. Until then, yuck. At least I have other things cooking now, with the comedy thing. That alone can steer things in a brand-new direction, and I’m glad for that.

And I still need to sign up for the first couple of pre-requisite classes for the electroneurodiagnostic thing. too. I am still thinking of doing it, yeah. I haven’t changed my mind about it. I’m kind of hoping to get some of the tests done on myself, if my doctor decides that is what I need to do to find out what’s going on with me. It’ll be cool to experience that stuff first-hand right now. I can focus on THAT, rather than the potential outcomes or diagnoses. That way, I am making it almost “fun”… I think. Right? Yeah.

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4 responses »

  1. Your posts lately have been so positive and good! 🙂 Even when you are worried about things you give them a positive spin, I love it! I think you should get your head checkes out. Having suffered from migraines myself it is nice to have the medicine to take to make you fele functional and not so sensitive to everything. My only problem is they knock me out so I only take it if everything is unbearable.

    I am gla dyou are doing better at work. I am interested to hear how things go at your follow up meeting. They have to have seen a HUGE difference and eat their words. 🙂

  2. Better to get all that checked out sooner, rather than later, right? “An ounce of prevention…” and so on. Might as well tackle things now, when they will most likely be cheaper, rather than later, when things have gotten out-of-control.

    A dear friend of mine suffers from rheumatiod arthritis, as well as degenerative disc disease, and pretty much lives every day of her life with a migraine. There is not a day where she DOESN’T have a headache. Some days are worse than others, some days she’s perky, others she looks exhausted, but it always hurts. Nothing relieves the pain. She just lives with it. Every once in a while another disc in her back will rupture- ever since the first one blew, sooner or later another one above/below the original culprit will go… that puts her in bed for at least two days, and then she’s right back up again, going to work, taking in sewing for extra income, working with her border collie…

    You have so much promise. You have so many opportunities awaiting you. How sad would it be to ignore a problem that might eventually prevent you from achieving any of your dreams?

  3. Whoa, do you have a lot going on! Congrats on the writing gig. That is so cool.

    Definitely take care of yourself. It’s advice that I should probably take myself, but you should listen to what your body’s trying to tell you.

    I’m so glad things are going better for you at work. It’s so ridiculous, the things we have to do to get along with other people sometimes. Whatever works, I guess.

  4. Thanks for encouraging me! You guys rock. I haven’t made the MRI appointment yet only because DAMN. It’s going to cost me about $800. I have a $2K deductible I have to meet before they’ll cover anything diagnostic. My insurance recently changed at work and this new plan is kind of awful. 😦

    But… it’ll happen. I recognize now that I don’t want my life to be anything less than the best I can make it. And having a stroke or aneurysm would *kinda* put a damper on things. Yeah. So, sometime in the near future I will take care of it.

    I haven’t been blogging or anything these days. That’s b/c I’m trying to work on my real writing when I have down time! I’m almost done with the first script. Yippee!

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