Kill ’em with compliance…not kindness.


I’m so relieved… I have not heard from the weird guy since Saturday, when he wrote me a short e-mail asking if we should not talk anymore, or something like that. I wrote back that yes, that would be best. His short reply was “sounds good” and that was the end of it. Thank GOD.

I’m still on edge, though. I filled out a couple of online forms to take my address off of Google and the white pages. I should have done this long ago, anyway. But it’s done now and I feel a little better. It’ll probably take a little while for me to not feel paranoid that he’ll show up. If not here, then somewhere around town.

Other than that, though? Everything is mostly OK at the moment. I went tubing on Saturday, which was really a lot of fun. I haven’t gone tubing since I was at 4H camp in 1991 and we floated down the Delaware. Ahhh. Those were the days. But anyway, tubing here on the Salt River wasn’t so bad. There was drinking. A lot of laughing. And even a few hits of weed. Niiiiice.

I used SPF 70 and still got burned. Clearly, I missed a few spots. The fronts of my thighs are still bright red (and now kind of itchy) even though I have been moisturizing non-stop; and I have little patches of burn at the boob-tops. Oh, well. It was worth it. One thing, though: I should have considered the fact that tubing for 4+ hours on a river with lots of rocks might not be the best idea for me. I didn’t think about this until some rapids pulled us over a ton of rocks and one of them smashed right into my butt, and tears rose in my eyes. MY TAILBONE! D’OH! How could I have forgotten that yeah, I’m recovering from a friggin’ fractured tailbone, and maybe this wasn’t the smartest move in the world…? In addition, I somehow managed to hurt my wrist even though I don’t recall anything in particular happening. It was swollen and sore afterwards. I think it was the fact that I was carrying some heavy stuff (like a frozen gallon of water) for a long time as we waited to board the bus to the riverbank.

Either way, like I already said, it was all worth it! And now I have a nice little tan, too! Woot for tanning and not being such a pasty ghost.

This was such an interesting weekend, overall. It was all about me being outside of my little safe cocoon. I met weirdo-man on Friday, yeah, but I still did it, and it had an educational purpose. And Saturday, I was around a ton of people I’d never met before, and I think I did OK and didn’t seem like a complete dork. (Still a dork, though. We brought BOOKS with us to float down the river. No one does that.)

Work this week has been super busy, again. I don’t understand how I could be working so hard and lining up so many articles and STILL not be ahead yet! It’s maddening as hell. I chalk it up to impossible tasks. It’s really building up, now; the effects of all the extra steps-in-the-process that my bosses are requiring of me are clearly beginning to expose themselves for what they are: ROADBLOCKS. Oh my God, do these steps ever slow me down. Well, the thing is, I’m just going to keep on doing it. I’ll follow their absolutely ridiculous guidelines and not complain (openly, anyway). I mean, I have nothing to hide, and not even the slightest bit of worry that it’s me not doing what has been asked of me. Nope. It’s the process itself that’s not working. It’s in black and white if they care to actually consider the fact that maybe, just maybe, they might have made a bit of a mistake in requiring all of this overkill-shit.

Nah. I think no one wants to think they could have actually been WRONG or at least, misguided, in this whole affair. So no one is going to admit it, or actually backpedal. There are egos at stake here, after all.

So, I will wait it out. Sooner or later, it’s GOT to taper off. It seems like every day I have a new occurrence that brings the inefficiency of this new process to light. It’s just hilarious to me that, in an effort to ‘get me caught up and get ahead of schedule’, it actually does the complete opposite… and NOT from MY OWN lack of effort. Nope. Ha. I’ll get you, suckers. Like any honest, hardworking person, I have the truth on my side. And so, I have no fear.

Even though I’m just following the new rules, keeping my head down and getting whatever I can do, done, I’m still not what I’d call “happy” in my job. Far from it, sadly. I’m just tolerating it. I do it because I have to, like most of us. I’m making an active effort to place my own sense of accomplishment and satisfaction W-A-Y outside of my place of employment! Work is work, end of story. I go, do what I have to, and leave. I never bring anything home anymore. I refuse to make any extra effort at all right now. It feels so much nicer, and I feel so much saner, just doing the basic stuff and not letting it stress me out once I leave for the day. It’s not worth me losing my shit over anymore. All that extra effort, work and worry for months and months never paid off in any way. So there’s no good reason for me to keep doing it! There are only good reasons to STOP doing it. Like– I feel calmer, happier, more sane, more creative outside of work… etc.

Well, anyway. That’s that.

I’m considering some fun stuff with Hurley. I’m close to signing up for a six-week class at the shelter where I once volunteered. It’s a tricks class. He’s got obedience down pretty well, so I figure it could be fun to take a class where we can learn things like roll over, back up, spin and bow. I know I could work on it at home myself and figure it out, but something tells me the class environment and the routine of it would be good for both of us. I can imagine him getting so smiley and happy to ‘perform’ around other dogs and owners. He loves to make me happy, and that’s how I know we can do anything together. It’s a mutual, happy understanding we have, me and my sheltie. “You’re happy, then I’m happy!”

The shelter also has a Canine Good Citizen Test prep class. That’s another one to consider, because I’m still checking out a therapy dog volunteering opportunity. He is a little rough around the edges with some of the requirements, but he has the important things down already to make for the foundation of a very effective therapy dog. So we might want to spend our money and time on that class, instead. I can’t decide. Maybe I will do both, one after another. We’ll see.

Fuckin’ Ringling Brothers. They’re here again in Phoenix. They make me sick. I’ll remain sick about them, until they finally get with the 21st century program and stop with the animal acts already. But…as long as people keep on being ignorant and paying to go see the cruelty, nothing’s gonna change. It’s so frustrating sometimes to CARE this much. I hate Joe Public. And José Publica, too. Ignorance knows no racial boundaries, after all. Hell no.

Well, this post is veering into random territory, so I’m ending it now. Bed time. I have another day of feeling all “OK, I’ll do this dumb shit, if you say so…” tomorrow. So much fun. At least it’s Thursday and almost Friday and then Saturday. The weekends frickin’ rock right now. More than ever!


3 responses »

  1. I totally would be reading a book in the tube floating down the river too! 🙂

    Your work sound slot like my work. Sigh.

    Those training courses sound cool. I bet Hurley would love them.

    I hate the circus. They were here and the “parade” of elephants made me sick. PETA had a great mobile billboard they drove around town to get their message across. I wish they would just stop with circuses all together. They are so wrong.

  2. Hee, I would totally be a dork READING my way down the river too.

    I think Hurley would be a natural at doing tricks. He seems like such a ham. Damn, I wish you could train cats like that.

  3. The circus can suck my DICK!
    I hate them so much. Well, not Cirque du Soleil, because who can hate uber-limber French-Canadian weirdos in bizarre costumes? 🙂

    Work blows. But what else is new, really? Sigh.

    Me and my friend R are thinking about doing a Classy Float Down the River; where we encourage participants to bring serious literature and wine. We’ll play classical music on a boombox and basically be pretentious, white-snob assholes on the river! It’s going to be amazing. If we ever get around to doing it.

    Hurley needs to earn his keep around here. These treats are getting expensive. Oh, and you *can* train cats to do tricks. I’m working on “lay down” with Simon right now. He’s got “sit” and “give paw” better than Hurley does. Again… you’d be amazed what you can get an animal to do for a treat. Especially the chubby pets (like mine). 🙂

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