Uhhhh… ummm… NO.

This is a quick post because I have GOT to go to bed, but I wanted to tell you guys that it wasn’t a good time tonight.

 Turns out he was just weird. Not the funny, geeky and charming weird that I love in my friends. Just off, somehow. He didn’t look so great… kind of sloppy, in a t-shirt and skating shorts, and yes, he had long hair, but it was thin and frizzy. He looked a lot older in the face than he said he was. I was put off because he was all slouchy, wouldn’t make eye contact, and he kind of ran off from our meeting place at Starbucks when he thought I wasn’t there. We were meeting at 7:15, and he thought it was supposed to be 7, I guess. See, I got to the Starbucks right on time, and I walked up, didn’t see anyone  that seemed to be looking for me, and so I went into the shop and sat down. I saw this one dude (turned out to be him) sitting outside, slouched over a drink, with nothing on the table. The guy I was looking for was supposed to be bringing his portfolio and children’s book. I assumed that couldn’t have been the guy–HOPED that wasn’t the guy–, and walked right past him when I got there. Five minutes after I was sitting there, scanning the crowds outside for someone with long hair, I noticed the slouchy guy get up and walk off down the street. I assumed at that point that he couldn’t have been the guy I was waiting to meet… why would someone walk away from a meeting place without waiting 5 minutes? Well, he called me a minute later, and said he was down the street and if I walked in that direction, he’d find me. My heart sunk because I knew then that yes, THAT had been the guy.

OK, so he wasn’t good looking. Big deal, because I dated a pretty homely guy for about 3 years one time because I liked his personality (at the time) and we laughed a lot. So I can overlook things like looks. What I can’t overlook is attitude; bad posture, shiftiness with not making eye contact, all of that.

We went to a crappy double feature and he didn’t offer to pay. Weird… I know it wasn’t a date, really, but still. Ninety-nine % of guys out there at least offer to pay your way when you go somewhere. Even if it’s just friends. (Can’t count how many times my guy friends picked up the tab at late-night diners when we hung out in high school and college, for instance.) Then he was just shifting around a lot, seemed uneasy… it made ME uneasy.

At intermission he asked me to go out with him tomorrow night again ALREADY. Whoa, dude. No. Even if I really liked you, I would NOT want to see anyone two nights in a row. So I turned him down. And then I ended up saying stuff like how I’m not looking to really start dating or seeing anyone, and I was sorry if I was hurting his feelings, or whatever… I can’t remember what-all I said, now. I just know he got all stand-offish and wouldn’t talk to me during the next movie, and then afterwards he stalked out of the theater ahead of me, without talking. We walked towards the parking lots in a huff. SO AWKWARD.

He scared me a little at this point, to be honest. Because he had tears in his eyes, TEARS. I mumbled, “Look, I’m sorry… I had a great time talking with you the other night, but I don’t want to date.” I said the stupid “It’s not you, it’s me” because on one level, yeah, it IS me. I had been secretly hoping for this date to fall apart because I realized I didn’t want to mess with anyone, period. I feel like I suck, because the poor guy apparently really liked me, and here I was being a Mean Girl. (I think he knew I was sort of turned-off by his physicality and it hurt his feelings… aww, sorry, man. I can’t pity-date or pity-friend anyone, though. So don’t try to make me feel guilty for not liking you that way!)

We did a quick awkward hug goodbye and he stalked off down the street to his car. I sauntered slowly into my parking lot (I was glad we didn’t park near one another) and made sure he wouldn’t see what car I got into, but he was really booking it out of there and didn’t look back. I got in my car, called my Mom to tell her about everything, and drove home.

I’m kind of creeped out a little. God DAMN it. See, this is what I get! I KNEW I shouldn’t play around online out of boredom, for god’s sake. That was a stupid move, and I think the reason I felt ashamed of it from the beginning was because I knew, somehow, this was a foolish, careless move for me to make. Well, I won’t be doing THAT again anytime soon!

What if he knows where I live because he googled my name and found my address? What if he calls me, which I think he will… he said, weakly, “I’ll call you tomorrow?” as we were saying our odd goodbye… but I don’t want to take his calls…?

Sorry for all the ellipses! I like ellipses.

And what if he just won’t go away? I’m hopeful that he will know better than that and leave me alone, have a little dignity about it. I wouldn’t worry about this if he didn’t seem to begin crying at the end of the night as we walked to the cars. Crying seems a little much. Crying is worrisome. I did NOT expect crying, ladies. No, I did not. Would you?

So, there you have it. It’s too bad that people have to be frickin’ weird and chock full of issues, but it’s apparently never going to stop. They’re out there, everywhere. This is just my latest odd experience with a member of the opposite sex. Sigh. Oh, well.

DAMN! Hurley is barking and whining out in the living room right now! What if the guy’s outside?! AHHH! No, no, I shouldn’t scare myself and get all paranoid. Of course he’s not. (My heart is racing, though! How am I gonna sleep tonight?)

And now I’m excited though because tomorrow I am going tubing with R…something I NEVER do, and it should be funny. I’m going to get a tan, finally! (You can tan through SPF 30 after 30 minutes, correct? Because I’d like a touch of color, but not a lot. Reapply, reapply!) Doing something new and fun will distract me from the bizarre experience a little. Perfect timing, I think.

Good night, friends. Thanks for having my back, as always! I heart all y’alls! ❤