In a nutshell,
* Work sucks. Even more so, every day it seems. More rules, more restrictions, more annoyances in general. Top it off with me working until 7pm tonight, my new supervisor there the whole time. We had a little talk after everyone went home and I think she understands where I am coming from a little more, so that’s good, but JESUS H. CHRIST… I only have so much in me to keep me sane and patient for the next “few months” as the silly rules continue. I feel so trapped I could puke.
* Angel, my Mom’s cat, will be leaving us tomorrow morning to go over the rainbow bridge. I’m soooo upset about this. Angel came with us from NJ, and has been with our family through a LOT of bullshit. She’s been my Mom’s cute little companion, and my Mom is so upset that it just breaks my heart to hear her tell me this tonight. Angel’s been slowly growing older and weaker for awhile now, losing her hearing and all the stuff that happens to pets when they age. Last week, she even had bladder issues start in. But today, Mom came home and Angel couldn’t really walk or anything, and was completely listless and didn’t want to eat. Mom says she just knows “it’s time” and she knows that she can’t handle watching Angel go any further downhill or suffer any longer. God, it’s so sad. She’s been a good cat for my Mom, who lives alone and enjoyed just having her little friend sitting with her every night, cuddling and playing with the laser pointer (until she grew too weak and old to really get into it anymore). I wish I could drive over there and see them both tonight but I really am completely wiped out and it’s already too late (8:00 already? Seriously?). Plus, if I go anywhere, it’s to my friend A’s house, where I was planning to go tonight anyway before shit hit the fan all over the fuckin’ place…
* …and yes, did I mention I had actual plans tonight?! ME, the person who never ever does ANYthing with ANYone outside my family? I was going to go have an awesome time with A and her boyfriend and laugh, have pizza, and all of the sudden my plans fall dead to the ground because of all this stuff. Honestly, I’m just flabbergasted–yes, flabbergasted– at this shitty luck. You can’t be serious, universe. I mean, being social, going someplace, seeing old friends again– this is something I never do, and it’s what I NEED RIGHT NOW in my life and A, I know you’re probably reading this too and I am just so incredibly sorry to cancel on you. Sorry for all of us, to be honest! You know what, part of me is thinking to hell with trying to go to bed early and call you again and ask to come over anyway. The only reason I don’t do that is because of the next thing…
*… my new supervisor asked me to log on early tomorrow morning before I go off to my doctor’s appointment, so I can get some work in before I go. After the appointment I need to go into the office (since I can no longer telecommute at all). The best part is my doctor appointment tomorrow ain’t no wrist or spine checkup. Nope. It’s my six-month OBGYN appointment, yippee! I’m hoping after this will be the last time I need to go every six months for awhile. As long as my pap comes out OK, I should be in the clear because they said I needed two years’ worth of normal results before I could go back to just once a year appointments, and this will be the 2-year point. Everyone please cross your fingers for me that it’s all good. I sincerely cannot take it if it’s not. I will jump off the overpass. I really will.
* So some dude comes to the door a few minutes ago with a clip board. Stupid me I opened the door just to shut up Hurley, who’s barking like a maniac. I hear a spiel about energy alternatives for your home, and interrupt the kid to tell him: “Look, I work for a magazine and I write about energy savings, carbon emissions, and all kinds of sustainability topics all the time. Nothing you can tell me will be something I haven’t already heard before.” He was kind of thrown by that but COME ON. I don’t have the patience for this right now. And besides, it’s true. I am sure I know more about that stuff than that kid does. He even said, “I’m just an intern, I don’t know” when I asked him, shortly, if his company was also going to businesses and not just homeowners. Leave me the fuck alone, go away and do NOT come back. I will bury you, kid.
* I hate that some people are really mean to my friends. Another one of you reading this is dealing with some kind of awful personal shit tonight and I really do wish I was in a better place myself right now so I could properly be there for you. I hope my text helped, somewhat…? It probably didn’t, since it was just a text. But I do care about you and hope that you’re not going to let this assfuck of a person ruin your day. I know you’ve been having a bitch of a time these days with life-stresses including a bad injury, too… you don’t need this. You’re better than that guy, and frankly karma is totally going to come around and kick his ass for the way he is treating you. There’s no reason to be so mean to people. I’m sorry you have to deal with it.
Well, so there are the details about the bug that’s currently up my ass. I’m hungry and I have no food in the house (because again, yeah, I had PLANS tonight) and if one more little thing goes funky tonight I’m… I’m not even sure what I’ll do. It won’t be pleasant, I know that much.
Sorry for the rant, but I had to do it.