Can’t sit down! Ass-clowns will eat me!


I really can’t! It’s been a full week and it’s still a literal pain in the ass to remain seated for more than 5 minutes. I’m sooo impatient with this healing process.

I’m up early today b/c the guys who are building my porch cover are due to arrive at 7am. I kept worrying about dog shit as I tried to sleep this morning. Not unusual. Who among us has not lay awake, fretting over piles of dog excrement from time to time? But I have let the dog shit accumulate lately. It was near the patio, too. I was thinking of the guys lying wood beams and stuff in the dog shit. And then, I am not only ashamed of my copious amounts of canine feces, but I get a porch cover with the shit built right in. Yuck. I’m no hillbilly. I won’t stand for it, even with my injuries. So I got out there while the sun was just coming up and picked up what I could before it became too painful. I got 99% of it.

Someone give me the Shit Medal I so deserve.

Well, not much is going on yet today, and I might as well lie back down because I suspect these chuckleheads won’t show up on time, anyway. Long story short, but they don’t seem to get anything going until I call them because I haven’t heard from them. Sigh. Whatever. They’re typical contractors, even if these guys do come highly recommended.

I got a pedicure yesterday. It was awesome. My feet are pretty now! But damn, everything was painful. First all the sitting was nearly impossible… then the filing and rough scraping job on my calluses was hard to get through. Then there was the salt (or was it sugar?) scrub on my lower legs. Normally, I bet it’s great. But I had just done my hatchet-job of shaving my legs w/ one hand that morning in the shower. Yeee-ouch! It burned like a mofo, and red bumps appeared all over the place. Sure, today my legs are smooth as Barry White’s voice, but OH the PRICE I paid.

Still, all in all, it was worth it. Did I mention my feet are pretty? Pretty is kinda awesome right about now, when the rest of me feels like absolute garbage. 🙂


2 responses »

  1. I got a much needed pedicure a few days ago. When the sandals come out and I see those bare toesies it is time to paint! Although I told the lady about my knee I still had to tell her twice not to grab my leg so hard or to rub up so high. I swear, if it didn’t look so good I would swear off pedicures.

    Poo Porch! Could be a market for that…

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