You can’t ride if you don’t get in the car


(Note: Hey, this didn’t actually post last night, when I wrote it! How strange. Anyway, here it is, now. Maybe I’ll write another post later, if I feel like it. Now, won’t that be nice! Let’s all hope I feel like it.)

Yesterday I hiked, and I would have taken Hurley, too… if he would have gotten in the car.

He’s got some new thing with the car, where he hates jumping in. I think in some ways he expects that I’m taking him to the groomer (which he hates) whenever we go on a car ride, but I’ve been trying to take him to fun stuff as much as I can. On New Year’s Eve, we walked all over that new park we found. I like taking him with me if I’m going to the drive-through at Walgreen’s or something, or to the bank. However, these days he isn’t going anywhere because I refuse to cater to a dog who can’t even hop his own ass into my car.

If I say “wanna go in the car?” he gets all excited. But I open up the door to the garage and he will not go out there. He doesn’t like the fact that suddenly a car is inside the house, I think. Or maybe he doesn’t like my new car. It could be that, too. Whatever it is, it annoys me.

So I give him lots of chances to get in the car, and after a few minutes of coaxing with nothing to show for it, I just shut the door and leave without him. I don’t even feel that sorry about it. I don’t want a pansy of a dog. He’s got to toughen up, be a man-dog.

Just like Simon is learning the tough lesson of what happens when he insists on jumping all over the bed while I’m trying to make it in the morning: he gets ‘bumped’ by my hand through the sheets. It’s kind of like a smack, but not as hard. He hates it, though. Now we just need him to man up and learn a little thing called cause-and-effect. That’s right, bitch… you jump on my sheets, you’re gonna get beat(s). Simple as dirt.

Well… to be accurate, dirt is far from simple. All kinds of organic compounds and even some inorganic materials that have made its way into the soil over the years…

Anyway, since tomorrow is the first day back to work since 12/23, I told myself I would be in bed by 10pm tonight so it won’t be as hard to get up in the morning. And yet, here I am, writing this and watching the beginning of Borat on Comedy Central. I’ve had this damn channel on all night, in the background. (Beerfest, followed by Idiocracy, and now this. SIGH.)

Luckily, tomorrow at work shouldn’t be so bad, since I do have a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS. Jagshemash!


5 responses »

  1. Cesar Millan’s new book has an interesting approach to the “won’t get in” whatever problem. I hadn’t even thought of it prior to reading this particular book, but he, in line with the “nose, ears, eyes” thinking (re: the way the dog experiences the world) wants and expects his dogs to put THEMSELVES in the car/crate/whatever. No coaxing, forcing or picking up and placing of the dog by the human. It takes as long as it takes, or you can lure the dog inside by enticing his nose to investigate with the smell of a yummy treat, but other than maybe commanding them once to get in, you don’t continue to coax or cajole and you don’t offer assistance. He says hesitation is the dog’s nose telling him of the new smells in the space, and it’s in line with a dog’s instincts to pause and listen to what the nose is telling them before moving on. Same as if a dog is hesitant to move forward in an unfamiliar, dark place- like a new walking route at night. Hesitation means the nose is giving the dog information necessary to proceed. I found this interesting because Kansas has pretty much NEVER gotten into a vehicle on her own, at least not since I sold my Mustang. And I’d resorted to picking her up and stuffing her in the car, because usually her hesitation would occur at my parents’ house, when we were leaving, and though I was happily willing for her to get in on her own time, if I didn’t intervene my dad would- with the shove of his foot in her butt, or he would start trying to order her around. None of which expedited the process. In order to avoid his “assistance” I’d just start picking her up and putting her in. At first we thought it was due to the difference in DH’s car vs. mine. She would have to lift her feet UP to get over the door frame, but those feet would then be stepping DOWN into the floorboard, and then she’d have to climb UP on the seat in order to get her back feet up over the frame, down into the floorboard, up on the seat… Much more complicated then simply stepping into my own car, though the design isn’t really different. I think there was more room between the front and back seats of my car… Or maybe she likes GOING to granny’s house, but not LEAVING it? Except that most of the time she is very definitely READY TO LEAVE, and still won’t get in the car. Then we thought maybe my own personal feelings about that vehicle were part of the problem. Shortly thereafter, however, she quit jumping from the ground into DH’s SUV, which never used to be a problem. We thought maybe it was the design of the doors. They don’t open all the way, and so there’s really not a lot of available space to pass through on the way in. Leo gets in and out of all vehicles just fine, BTW… and it does seem that Kansas’ hesitation increased whenever we got Leo. Getting into a vehicle when he’s already inside taking up 2/3 of the space can’t be any easier…

    Anyway, the gist of the part of that book was that whatever it is you’re wanting the dog to get into, the dog must do so on his own, and then you don’t even shut the crate/car door until the dog is relaxed and happy. Maybe luring Hurley into the new car with a treat or toy would make a difference? In your case, I’m sure it’s the whole new car, new smell, new spatial relations thing that’s causing his hesitation. In my case, I think I’ve just been enabling my dog, in an attempt to avoid more “help” from my dad. She’ll get into either car just fine if DH goes to the opposite door, opens it and calls her. And she’ll get in just fine if I stand there long enough.

  2. a) why do you make your bed? waste of time
    2) cats dont get cause n effect. its not in they brains. its one of their down falls

  3. Holy crap, Jen’s comment is longer than your post! 🙂

    I just have two things to say.
    1. I love this statement: “He doesn’t like the fact that suddenly a car is inside the house, I think.” I have no idea why but it made me giggle.
    2. We just watched Idiocracy a couple of weeks ago. What did you think of it?

  4. Thanks, Jen! I’m sure he’ll get over this sooner or later. I just thought it was humorous somehow. He didn’t have the same issues getting into the Rav4, in the driveway. I honestly think he doesn’t like this new car as much. The windows are higher up, and there is no little console box to step on if he wants to jump into the front seat when I go into a store. Anyway, I just don’t want to baby him by always lifting him in (and out) of the car. Not when he used to be just fine about it.

    Dot- I make the bed because I like how it looks when it’s made! However, making my bed isn’t a big deal. I just pull the sheets as straight as I can, and put the pillows in line. If I have a comforter or blanket, I pull that up, too. No big whoop. Takes 20 seconds. 2) I think they can understand cause and effect in some cases, for sure! That’s how Simon learned to “give paw” for a treat. It’s just selective cause and effect, apparently. 🙂

    Pixie – I like Idiocracy, but not for its crude, base humor (although it is still funny, of course. I love that simple crap.)… what I love it for is its first act, when they have the sequence about the two family trees; the one professional couple, and then Clevon, the idiot. I just think this is one of the most sadly-accurate depiction of our society, going forward. I *do* think that the stupid people are doing WAAAAAY too much of their fair share of the breeding; and I think the more intelligent members of our society tend to wait or only have one, maybe two kids (if any). What *does* that mean for our future? It’s scary if you think about it! Maybe that Idiocracy vision of the future will end up kind of accurate. I didn’t expect that a movie like this would stick in my head so much, and terrify me more than almost any other (serious) film.

  5. 1. I love this statement: “He doesn’t like the fact that suddenly a car is inside the house, I think.”

    That made me laugh too! Dogs are so weird, I could imagine something like that just messing up his entire world view.

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