(Note: Hey, this didn’t actually post last night, when I wrote it! How strange. Anyway, here it is, now. Maybe I’ll write another post later, if I feel like it. Now, won’t that be nice! Let’s all hope I feel like it.)
Yesterday I hiked, and I would have taken Hurley, too… if he would have gotten in the car.
He’s got some new thing with the car, where he hates jumping in. I think in some ways he expects that I’m taking him to the groomer (which he hates) whenever we go on a car ride, but I’ve been trying to take him to fun stuff as much as I can. On New Year’s Eve, we walked all over that new park we found. I like taking him with me if I’m going to the drive-through at Walgreen’s or something, or to the bank. However, these days he isn’t going anywhere because I refuse to cater to a dog who can’t even hop his own ass into my car.
If I say “wanna go in the car?” he gets all excited. But I open up the door to the garage and he will not go out there. He doesn’t like the fact that suddenly a car is inside the house, I think. Or maybe he doesn’t like my new car. It could be that, too. Whatever it is, it annoys me.
So I give him lots of chances to get in the car, and after a few minutes of coaxing with nothing to show for it, I just shut the door and leave without him. I don’t even feel that sorry about it. I don’t want a pansy of a dog. He’s got to toughen up, be a man-dog.
Just like Simon is learning the tough lesson of what happens when he insists on jumping all over the bed while I’m trying to make it in the morning: he gets ‘bumped’ by my hand through the sheets. It’s kind of like a smack, but not as hard. He hates it, though. Now we just need him to man up and learn a little thing called cause-and-effect. That’s right, bitch… you jump on my sheets, you’re gonna get beat(s). Simple as dirt.
Well… to be accurate, dirt is far from simple. All kinds of organic compounds and even some inorganic materials that have made its way into the soil over the years…
Anyway, since tomorrow is the first day back to work since 12/23, I told myself I would be in bed by 10pm tonight so it won’t be as hard to get up in the morning. And yet, here I am, writing this and watching the beginning of Borat on Comedy Central. I’ve had this damn channel on all night, in the background. (Beerfest, followed by Idiocracy, and now this. SIGH.)
Luckily, tomorrow at work shouldn’t be so bad, since I do have a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS. Jagshemash!