Nasal Spackle

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Since the last post was kind of “mehh” I figured I’d write a little more to cheer myself up. Last night after I watched My Shows (the NBC lineup), I was looking around my living room and thinking about how I really needed to get moving on things, painting-wise, if I was going to achieve my self-imposed goal of having the living room and kitchen painted in time for Thanksgiving.

So I got up and moved all the furniture to the middle of the room, and got out the dropcloths. (Turns out I only have two… but I could have sworn I bought another one, so I need to figure out where I stashed it.) And then I began sanding.

And sanding. And sanding.

My walls were covered with stray spackle and ceiling-texture from when they took down the popcorn ceilings. And then, when the construction contractors finished the wall that I’d knocked down, they didn’t do the neatest job with that either and so I had to clean it up. I ended up with fine, white powder all over the floors and in my hair. I took a picture of my hair afterwards, because it reminded me of when we would sprinkle baby powder in our hair to look “older” for high school plays.

After that, I cleaned up with the shop vac and did some spackling to repair the holes and scratches in the walls. I realized just how poor a job that dumb-ass contractor did on that wall opening… it’s not even or textured properly. I am trying to straighten things out where I can so the “wavy wall” effect won’t be so noticeable. Still, I remain highly disappointed in the quality of the work they did. (PLUS, the strip of quarter-round edging along the floor between my living room and the kitchen tile just came off last night as I walked over it. My shoe got stuck on it, because I guess it was sticking up at a seam, and when I moved, it pulled the whole thing right up. I was mortified to see that it had been lightly glued in place, and that was it. Jesus Christ. What a bunch of assholes at that company! I definitely need to write up a negative review of their company on a couple of consumer websites. DEFINITELY.)

Tonight, if all goes well, I will begin painting the walls! I’m excited to see how it turns out. It’s risky because I’m going dark, with the brown. But it should be OK because of how open and airy that room is, anyway. Plus I was careful to pick out a brown that would look nice next to the cherry-laminate floors.

So anyway, I cleaned up last night and got ready for bed. I blew my nose and realized something was wrong. I was blowing out wet spackle.

It’s dusty until water is added to it. And I guess the moisture inside my nose re-activated it into spackle-consistency. I freaked out. Did this mean it was in my lungs in that state, too? What the hell would that do to me? How could I get it out? I forced myself to cough in order to get whatever was in there up again, but not much happened. I blew out as much as possible from my nose, but when I went to bed, I was scared for a little while that I would choke to death in my sleep as I imagined all that spackling hardening up and blocking off my breathing passages. I even thought about getting out of bed and writing up a fast will in case I did die. I would leave my pets to my Mom and sister, my car to my Mom, my house to whoever wanted it… basically everything would go to my Mom and sister.

I love those irrational fear-thoughts we get when we are falling asleep.

Since I am here right now, writing this, I think it’s clear that I didn’t die. Unless this is pergatory and this is what it’s going to be for me, forever. Just writing blogs about nothing, for all eternity.

OH NO.

I think I *did* die!

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3 responses »

  1. The crazy thing is, that’s exactly what those good ol’ nasal hairs are for! Catching stuff like that! Surely you’ve blown your nose after mowing the lawn and taken a gander at THAT muddy snot mess! 😉 I can’t even begin to detail what used to come out of my nose after I’d spent a day cleaning someone else’s very dusty house. And that lady I used to clean for who chain smoked to the point that everything was stained, hazy and even the furniture was covered in sticky nitocone? ICK!

    Bodily fluids and functions- so lovely! Ain’t life grand?

  2. Well, I ❤ my nose hairs, because they did a great job catching that stuff! Eeek. I think the reason I had that sleepy-time freakout was because it was a substance that can harden up if dried out. A man-made one, at that. (Somehow, blowing my nose after yardwork is not as bad, although still just as gross.)

    Nicotine. Oooky stuff. My sis has some stories about apartments inhabited by smokers. It's incredible how many surfaces are affected by that crap, often beyond the point of salvaging. I know I got an off-white 13" TV from a smoker once, and when I cleaned it I found out it wasn't off-white at all, it was really WHITE.

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