Beauty from the ankle up

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My sister’s wedding is this Saturday! I can’t believe it’s finally here. It’s so cool because I’m really excited for it, and think we’re all going to have so much fun. I think it will be more fun than stressful, I really do. Their attitudes and fun-loving nature are going to make it just great. And over the years, I’ve really seen how they are perfect for one another in a lot of ways. They’re best friends, always laughing and doing fun things together. They don’t fight; they discuss and forgive. They seem to have a strong understanding of the fact that marriage does not fill an empty space and help give them meaning to their lives… no way. They’re both their own person, with different interests and goals and they’re coming into this as two individuals joining up for life. They’re not “becoming one”, as so many wedding and marriage cliches put it… they’re one married couple, maybe, but they are still HIM and HER. No one’s giving up any part of their identity, and they’re not getting married because they think they have to, because “it’s time,” or because they are settling for the best they think they’ll get: any of the common poor reasons people get married. (I should know– I’m guilty of a couple of them and have my regrets! And I can see when people are doing it RIGHT now, more than ever.)

So yes, I’m excited for them, and for the party of this wedding. I honestly feel that they are already deeply and completely committed to one another, and have been for a long time now…so the vows really are just a formality. They’ve got it worked out. And when her last name changes to his, it will be legally “official” and that’s all this ceremony exists for. They’ve been married, in my eyes, for years and years now. 🙂

So, for once, it’s a wedding without a lot of angst or extreme emotion attached to it. This is a wedding as a celebration, pure and simple. And everyone’s going to be smiling, laughing, and just having fun! That’s so cool!

Besides the wedding excitement, I’ve got other things going on right now. I have GOT to clean up my house tonight after work. I’ve got a drying rack full of laundry in the middle of my kitchen right now, and need to do two more loads tonight so I have two sets of clean sheets for the beds. I have to mow the grass out back and spray weed killer because it’s definitely affecting the dogs now. One of the new weeds out there has little burrs on it, and the burrs are getting stuck all over my pups…in their fur and in between their little toes. I hate it. I also need to wash Olive, who is a filthy mess from all her rolling around in the dirt, trying to dislodge the aforementioned burrs during the day when she goes in and out of the dog door… yesterday she wasn’t reddish-gold in color anymore, she was a dull tan. She had so much dust on her coat she looked like she had been living for awhile down in crypt somewhere. I had to laugh, because otherwise I’d cry over the sheer mess.

And the other one…oh, man. I tear up just thinking about his situation! Hurley gets to go to the groomer tomorrow. I’ve been working on his burr-related matts every single night and I still can’t handle them all myself. especially the ones hidden deep on his back legs. He can’t take it anymore and has started running away and escaping when our ‘sessions’ last too long. So I’ve called in a professional to help us out. Poor little baby!

And the personal maintenance continues as well. Last week, I got a much-needed hair cut (nothing drastic, just a glorified trim) and then I dyed my hair back to a pretty deep brown again on Sunday. My sister and I went last night to get spray tans. We did it for my wedding a few years ago, and in the photos it really made a difference. So last night, she found a place that we could just walk in and get it done… so we did. I hadn’t expected to be spray-tanned last night! I thought I’d be hanging around at home, starting to make a dent in the house clean-up. But I’m glad we did it and got it over with early.

It was a strange experience, of course. Standing in a little booth, just about naked with your arms out like a scarecrow as the sprays mist all over kind of sucks. I don’t like it. I like the results, yes, but the process is bizarre to me. I’d still rather do that than lay out or do the tanning bed thing; burns and skin cancer aren’t exactly something I want to voluntarily deal with. Anyway, I’ll do this if it means I will look nice for a special occasion and it might also make me look a little more healthy during a time when I feel like crap and can’t seem to get rid of my upper respiratory infection or whatever it is.

That all being said: does anyone know a “cure” for the little problem of stained feet after spray tanning?

Everything looks fine when I’m standing there normal. But the bottoms of my feet are… I can’t even express just how terrible they look without some hyperbole, because when I look at my soles, I am still completely aghast that these are MY FEET and they look this horrible: They look like I have been living barefoot on the streets for 15 years.

Yes, 15. Exactly 15 years. 🙂

Really though. Something MUST have gone wrong last night. I must have skipped some step in the process. Maybe I didn’t wipe my feet off enough when I got out of the misting torture chamber? Maybe I didn’t apply the so-called “blending lotion” properly? I don’t know. All I know is that when I saw my feet when i got home, I almost cried. I put some water in the tub and got my foot scrub wash out and did a little cleaning up. Some of it came off, but just enough to orange-tint the water: I didn’t see a difference on my skin.

I figured that by this morning, when I took my shower, it would be a lot better. I let my feet get almost pruny in the shower this morning, and then set to work with the scary foot rasp to scrape off all the dead skin.

Now I have dark brown, dirty-looking feet with little pinkish, lighter-colored blotches here and there.

This problem is bigger than me. Bigger than my capabilities. I began to consider getting the bleach from the laundry room and doing a bleach-bath on my feet before logic set in and I refrained from destroying my skin and toenails in this way.

After I post this, I’m going to do some research online to find out what to do. I’ll call the salon if I can’t figure out something.

But until then, I am praying no one sees the bottoms of my feet. I am wearing platform flip-flops today, because none of my other shoes like right with this outfit (on a 90 degree day), but my jeans are long-ish and I hope the heels are mostly covered when I walk and the shoes go “flip”. If you saw my feet, you’d swear I was just the filthiest, most disgusting motherfucker you ever saw. It really looks just like ground-in dirt. UGH. I can’t talk about this anymore. My own feet are making me ill.

Some more self-maintenance things are happening this week yet: on Friday, we are going for massages. Mine will have aromatherapy to help my sinuses. So that will hopefully be nice. I’m already dreading the embarrassment of lying on the massage table and having the masseuse see my brown feet. But the rest of it will be great! I can’t wait for the great part of it. Massages and aromatherapy are awesome.

I’ll also need to paint my fingernails at some point. Wish me luck. (I hate manicures in a salon and won’t do that unless it is absolutely necessary.)

Busy, odd week! But even with all of this, the spray-tanned-feet and the worries about looking like a dirtbag homeless person from the ankle down, it’s still such a super-happy time! It’s all worth it. The wedding will be beautiful and silly and classy all at the same time; I can’t wait.

Just don’t look at me too closely, if you see me. That’s all I ask. Hey, the bride! Look at HER! It’s all about her, after all! And she’s beautiful!! Just pretend I am a little shadow you can barely make out, and therefore not worth the effort of staring at. Yeah. That’s the ticket.

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8 responses »

  1. I hope so! 🙂
    I did read about finding an exfoliator with fruit acids in it; I might even have one somewhere in the depths of my bathroom cabinet already…

    And they also said to try a peroxide solution, lemon juice or baking soda to scrub some of the dead skin off. I can’t wait to go home and try some of this stuff!

  2. I too know all about getting married for the wrong reasons. I can pick it out as well. I think most people are miserable actually to some level or another. I cannot tell you anyone that I know that is really, truly happy. Blog friends excluded because I don’t actually know the nitty gritty details about their relationships.

    I cannot wait to see pics of T’s wedding. It is going to be so exciting! I keep wishing I would win the lotto before Friday. If I do, I am so there! 🙂

    I don’t know anything about spray tanning or how to make one’s feet go back to a normal color. But I see you have found some solutions in your previous comment to Shades so I guess I can shut up now. 🙂

  3. The feet thing is kind of unavoidable. You stand in a little chamber-thing and move around as these automatic nozzles spray you; then some of it pools on the floor so you’re standing in it. Yeccch.

    I’m ticked off b/c the place we had it done should have told me I had the option of wearing little ‘booties’ to cover the bottoms of my feet. Or supplied some sort of barrier cream. Anyway, what’s brown is brown and I gotta live with it till the dead skin sloughs off. 😦

  4. I’m fascinated by the perils of spray-tanning, because it’s all news to me. I’m sure you’re going to look fab at the wedding. Your comment about being “the filthiest, most disgusting motherfucker you ever saw” (hee!) reminds me of this girl I went to college with. Didn’t know her, didn’t have any classes with her (thank you, God) but I would see her around campus and she NEVER WORE SHOES. Ever. Not in the winter, not on the subway (!), not ever. And this was in the middle of a major city. This bitch obviously had issues, and she pissed me off so bad because occasionally I would get an accidental view of the bottom of her feet. It was fucking gross, as you can imagine.

    Anyway, I guess I needed to get that off my chest. And I’m sure your feet are not that bad. 🙂

  5. Fraulein, that story is bizarre yet OH SO FASCINATING! Tell us more, tell us more!

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