Diversified Industries, Inc. LLC


That’s probably a real company name. I hate company names like that.

So, today is Friday. What’s new? Not much. Of course, I haven’t heard anything about the house and don’t expect to anytime soon, given the lovely “two weeks to two months” average timeframe that it takes for the seller’s bank to make their final decision on the sale. But at least I am not obsessively going over the MLS listings every day, many, MANY times, like an addict. I was doing that night and day, no kidding. I couldn’t NOT look for houses. Now that I likely have one, it’s a tremendous relief.

Now I can make time for other stuff. Like creative bandaging of my injured finger and the eating of Dove Almond Milk Chocolate Eggs that I got at Walgreen’s yesterday for 75% off.

My finger is a lot better. It’s finally stopped (I’m going to use a gross word, so steel yourself) seeping. Today’s the first day I didn’t wrap it in the bandages to keep it mostly straight. I figure it’s actually better to be bending it so it doesn’t heal all tight and weird over the knuckle. So it’s just one of those wonderful NexCare bandaids again. Seriously, I want to buy some 3M stock because these things are probably the best adhesive bandages around. They say they’re waterproof, and guess what? They really are waterproof. It’s almost like space-age technology or some shit.

I went to a work conference this morning, and got lost wandering around the big resort property when I tried to find my car. I ended up in the Tennis Shoppe. The lady in there told me my hair color was “lovely” when I came in, and then I asked for directions on how to get back to my car. Turns out I was on the entirely wrong side of this place. As I walked back, past all the fancy fountains, bars (there were at least 3 bars on property that I passed, including one with a piano and one old lady sitting on a couch in tourist clothes, looking angry) and thought: My hair is SOOO not lovely. It’s faded and brassy, and the gray patch is more visible than ever before. She was such a damn liar. I hate liars. I should have gone back and told her so!

Ever just feel like calling people out? Even when the poor people might just be trying to be nice? They could be genuinely sweet, and there are times when I just want to be all, “NICE TRY. FUCK YOU.” Is that just me, or…?

Anyway. I have to get going now, since it’s the end of the day and I have an important errand to do now. Plus tonight my sister and I are going to the hairdresser to figure out how he’ll do our hair on the day of her wedding. Maybe I can ask him to give me an honest assessment of this hair color, just so I know for sure if that Shoppe lady was full of shit or not.

And tomorrow, a trip to the west side zoo! I have never been to the west side zoo, so this should be interesting. Me and a couple of trusty coworkers will be heading out there to see the ghetto animals. I hear there’s an albino alligator. I hope they keep it in the shade. If not I’ll feel so sorry for it. That’s just cruel, making anything albino live in the Arizona desert.

I’m glad I wasn’t born an albino. That would just suck. It’s not like you can do anything about it. You could have been the most gorgeous girl in the world, but you had no pigment, so OH WELL. Now you are just easily sunburned and people are scared to look in your eyes. I’m not sure many people stop and think about the Sad Plight of the Albino. Maybe we should. Maybe we should.



2 responses »

  1. Invest in a styptic pencil, ok? Seriously. They’re less than a dollar, can be found on the razors-and-shaving-cream aisle and at that price are WAY cheaper than buying styptic pads/powder at your pet supply store of choice. You’ll use it for the dogs, eventually, but in the meantime hold the damn thing to your knuckle wound until it produces clotting.

    Then wash the bloody pencil off and save it for later.

    If I didn’t have a husband who was constantly harping on how all the guys in baseball had them and why couldn’t he ever find one, and if I hadn’t threatened to buy him the $7-$12 versions at PetSmart, we would never have ended up finding them on accident in Wal-Mart (don’t even bother checking the pharmacy and first aid sections, just get your ass to the razors), and buying enough to keep one in the bathroom, one in the dogs’ first aid kit (yes, you heard me. We go camping so we need one.), one in the glove compartment of each vehicle, etc… etc… Matter of fact, I need one for my purse, lemme go add that to the grocery list.

    Best invention ever.
    Somebody kiss the dead guy responsible for inventing that stuff.

  2. Your mind was certainly all over the place today, I love it! 🙂

    I want to go to the zoo. I love zoos, even though I feel bad for the animals being all caged up. But I like seeing wild animals up close. I always spend a lot of time at the Big Cats if they are awake.

    Dove chocolate at 75% is a very nice thing indeed. 🙂

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