Wow… this week was too much. I’m talking the time from last Friday until today, actually. Too many downs, too many ups, and way more anxiety than I am used to. But the worst is likely behind me now that I *know* I have the house. I checked, and it’s been removed from the active MLS listings, so no one else can really go see it. And Monday is when we actually open escrow. I’m really so excited.
Tomorrow, we’ll go see the house again…I want my Mom and sister to see the inside, too! And I am dying to take photos and measurements. I’ve already gone to Lowe’s and Home Depot and started making preliminary “wish lists” of things I want to do, and I have figured out what the priorities will be and everything, etc. I’m just so damn psyched to have a house that is ALL mine. No dumb fiance or spouse to deal with; no HOA telling me what I can and can’t do in the yards. This is so cool.
But yes, I am completely ready for the weekend! I know every Friday feels that way, but this one is REALLY welcome. Even though I have lots of plans for the weekend, I’m still so relieved that I can actually have a little no-thinking time again. (Which actually does mean thinking; but it’s fun thinking, like writing on my book if I can, laughing with my sister and some friends…)
I do have to clean. The house went to HELL this week. Clutter and papers everywhere. The vacuuming is sadly overdue, since I didn’t do it on Tuesday like I always do. In fact, I had pulled the vacuum out and started in the second bedroom/office when my phone rang on Tuesday, and I stopped, and the vacuum is still right where I left it. Unplugged, yeah, but I never even got it back into the closet!
I’m thinking of doing something very unusual tonight, but chances are I will chicken out and won’t go. But I found out this week that the old ex, Mr. Published Author, is in a play that closes this weekend. It’s gotten very good reviews, and two other people I have worked with a lot on other shows in my other life as a theater actress (seems soooo long ago!) are also in the show, so it could be cool to see what they’ve been up to, watch them act again. I tried to find some friends to go with me, but no one can make it. Now, if it were any other show NOT featuring an ex, I would just go and even though I was alone, it wouldn’t be that weird. But because it is a situation involving someone I was once engaged to (and in fact, the person I first bought a home with, oddly enough), I worry that it would be strange of me to go alone. I am on friendly terms with the guy, so if I did see him after the show, that wouldn’t be the problem, so much.
I’m scared of his wife.
I haven’t heard good things, to say the least. I’m wondering if it happens to be a night that she is in the audience. I know she’d recognize me since we used to go to church together and everything. She might even say hello to me. But I don’t know… would she get suspicious or jealous or just plain weird about me being there? I think she could play the “nice to my face” game fairly well, because I think she’s done it in the past. But I don’t want to make any friction, anywhere, ever. I probably have nothing to worry about, when I think about it logically. It’s not like I am still interested, at ALL. Or that I’d be sniffing around for any reason other than an interest in seeing the show, general curiosity. I know that, so that should be enough for me. If they had issues with me being there, that’s THEIR problem, not mine. I’ll just go home and keep living my life and never be the wiser to anything else.
Best case scenario is I get to go, she isn’t there, I see the show and then just leave right afterwards and not even see anyone or stick around to say the polite hellos and congratulations on a good show stuff. I don’t feel a need to actually talk to anyone, to be honest. I just want to watch. Heh.
So, I don’t know… I can’t decide if it’s worth the time and money to go. Because the real truth is, it’s boring to see a show alone! I want to be talking with someone at intermission about it, and talk afterwards. I really wish someone could have been free tonight. It would be way less of a question if someone else were involved. It would be fun.
Ehhh, this is dumb. Maybe I will just stay home and catch up on my Netflix that have been sitting there untouched for over a week. That does sound very, very tempting. Especially since I’ll be leaving work in 15 minutes to go hiking… a hike that WILL punish me, because I have not hiked in well over a week now (last Tuesday was the last time I’ve gone) and I will be out of shape again… and I will want a nice, hot shower and cuddles with the dogs when I get home. It might be tough to muster up the energy and motivation to get dressed properly and leave the house tonight.
It’s so beautiful outside this week! It’s been warm, which is sad in a way because it means that winter is already over for us. I never thought I would EVER be sad to see winter be over, but living out here has flip-flopped my feelings on summer and winter. Winter is beautiful here. Weather between 60-75 during the day; lots of sun… the kind of thing I feel guilty talking about to anyone not living here. Summer is soooo long, though. It starts somewhere around the end of April, and isn’t over until October or so. That’s because by April we’re regularly hitting 80, 85, even 90 degrees every day. It sucks if you like hiking, because it signals the beginning of the end. There is no way in hell anyone should be out hiking in the desert mountains when it’s 95 or higher. So, between June and September, it’s pretty limited the days when hiking is possible. So sad. 😦
So anyway, as I was originally saying: it has been a week of beautiful weather. It’s been warm so the heat hasn’t had to kick on at all since Sunday. I have meant to go hiking every single day this week, only to either be sidetracked by home-buying paperwork that has arrived to be at the end of the business day, or having to stay later than expected at work and therefore, not being able to get to the mountain in time for a decent hike before the sun went down.
So today’s my chance! I have to make it count and get my ass down there. It takes about 20 minutes on most days to get to the trails… I actually can’t wait to go. I’m going to be savoring the sun, the breeze, the feeling of my lungs stretching out again and fresh air cleaning out my brain, the music and zoning-out time.
I’m going to daydream.
I can’t wait!
Plus, I’ve had a couple of different daydreams recently. Little, guilty daydreams. About DUDES. Yeah. (blushes)
One is a dude I sort-of know; he doesn’t live here so there is no opportunity to see him or anything, ever, so that’s perfect. I am still not ready to even consider dating. It turns my stomach; I am dead serious. But daydreaming is cool. Plus, every now and then, it helps my writing. So it’s fun.
The other is an actor, and I swear to god I feel like such a silly teenager because if I had a locker, I’d probably have his picture in there. I haven’t been so stupid about anyone famous in awhile. I’m very embarassed, for no good reason. I mean, who gives a shit?! But it’s so fun to look at him. I love it. I love the silly ‘crush’ of this. Even though I feel retardedly immature about the whole thing for whatever reason, it’s still a good time in a way that reminds me of when I was younger and life was more…I don’t know… packed with vibrant details and the free time to appreciate all of them, I guess.
I might come out soon. About the dudes.
But, then again, it is fun to have things that are 100% just for me, and no one else. So I might not.
Like boxes of Thin Mints. I still haven’t purchased any, but I know where to go this weekend to get ’em. And when I do, I am not sharing because they are ALL MINE. And that’s just lovely!
Time to leave work now and go to the mountain! See ya later, MyBlog.