Alfredo and SHAME


Tonight, me and my sister went out for dinner. To Olive Garden. Of course. It’s like crack.

And we both had the alfredo with orecchiette pasta (because the fettucine can get messy, and they no longer offer farfalle at the OG), salad and breadsticks. We ate till we were in PAIN. It’s such a disgusting thing, what we do at the Olive Garden. We just can’t stop ourselves and walk out of there bloated, burping and tired. Such a bad scene. Make a note to yourself now: Don’t go to the Olive Garden with us, ever. We’ll make ya sick. We usually get a refill on the salad… the gluttony knows no bounds.

After that, we went to Target and Borders. Target was meh, basically because we go there enough that there was nothing new since the last time we were there. But Borders was a whole other story.

It’s their Paperchase section that kills us. Oh MAN! That stuff is so adorable and pretty. So many gorgeous little journals and pens; candleholders and soaps; stuffed animals and cool little pencil cases and picture frames…AHHH! We just got lost in the pretty. And then we wandered around and laughed at books, which is always a good time. But we actually bought stuff, too. We each got this:


A little tinsel tree and a BEAUTIFUL pink-glittered fawn! The picture does not do it justice. It’s so pretty I can’t stop staring as it sits here on my desk. It’s extra sparkly under the desk lamp. I love sparkly things!

It wasn’t a set or anything; we just liked the look of these things together and so we each bought the same thing. We’re going to put them on our desks at work…although I am a tad bit worried about the amazing fawn. I worry someone might steal it. Maybe I should glue its feet to my desk for the time being. (Yeah, and come in one day to find wee little pink-glittery deer legs stuck to the desk, but the rest of the deer has been taken away.)

So, that was our fun evening. I mentioned my recent love of Billy Joel songs and how I wanted to listen to “Downeastern Alexa” again, and wouldn’t you know it, she had it on her iPod. So we blasted it and she sang it perfectly, with gusto, as I drove to Target. It turned out I only remembered snippets of the song beyond the chorus…but it’s a great song to shout in the car, and blow your voice out to, believe me.

I also came up with a short movie idea; it’s a parody of The Wedding Crashers and it’s called The Pageant Crashers. It’s about two girls (us) who can’t wait for Christmas Pageant season so they can go ‘hit’ as many school pageants as possible because they are childless workin’ women who don’t have kids of their own…so they get off on going to watch other people’s cute little kids stumble around stage and sing off-key. Awww. Anyway, maybe I should write this as my first script…? Hee hee.

I don’t think I have mentioned it before, or if I have, it must have been in a comment or something, but I wanted to briefly discuss Hurley’s oddball habits. The dog makes me laugh hysterically. I don’t know if that’s because I am a simpleton who is super-easy to entertain, or if he is legitimately a funny dog, but either way, here’s what happens.

We play pretty much every night a weird game I call Monkey Phase. This is when he gets so riled up and crazy-excited that he runs around and leaps up and down off of furniture at a lightning-fast speed. I chase him and he only becomes more insane. He’ll stop dead in his tracks and crouch there with his mouth open, daring me to come close. When I do, he snaps his little jaws and makes a strange grunt noise and tackles me. When he does this, he smacks me with his paws again and again and if he can get close enough, licks me like crazy. Then he’ll take off again and run into the other room, run back, run into the other room, back… and then when I least expect it, tackle me again. I am not explaining it well, but it’s definitely a fun game.

He also does a thing when I go to bed where he jumps up to say goodnight to me by taking my fingers in his mouth and holding them. I know I shouldn’t be encouraging mouthing, but I really love this. He just goes “ahhhgg” and starts gently biting my fingers, one by one, his tail wagging if I so much as giggle or smile at him. He is very responsive to my smile. Sometimes I tackle him back and he ‘bites’ at my hands, which I keep flopping back and forth over his head. He loves this game, and always falls back on the bed and paddles the air with his furry paws and makes his “ahhhgg, ahhhgg” sound at me. Then when I turn off the light, he hops down and goes to the living room, where he spends every evening either on the couch or his dog bed.

But my favorite game of his is Moving Stuff. He will simply pick some random object up and take it someplace else. He doesn’t chew up the item, and doesn’t even do anything with it except move it. This morning, he took one of my slippers away as I was in the shower, so when I got out I was only met with one sock monkey slipper. The other one, it turned out, was in the living room, by the front door.

My favorite was the time I left my backpack on the kitchen floor, one day after I had ridden my bike home from work. I left it unzippered, and while I was doing other stuff around the house, he was quietly removing things from the backpack and bringing them to new locations. Here’s what I found:

* A clean pair of socks near the TV

* My MP3 player out on the patio, next to the house

* My earbuds also on the patio, but half in the grass

* My sweatshirt, dragged to the bathroom

* A lip balm under the dining table

*My WALLET in the yard. Real nice. And it made me laugh so hard when I noticed it was maybe two yards from a fresh poop. What is he trying to do to me?!

I don’t know what his fascination is with moving things, but until something is left IN a pile of poop or he rips something valuable up, I’m amused by it, so I don’t mind that he does it. It seems like he has a mission; he is tasked with putting these things in other places, and he takes his job seriously. Who am I to step in and disrupt things, right?

OK, I am off to bed; something I should have done an hour ago. But tomorrow will be busy at work, so this could be my one chance to write a whole lotta nothing and post pictures of shiny new toys.

Here’s a final Hurley shot for the evening; another outtake from last night. Yay for bouncy little shelties!


(This is when he tackled me out of the blue when I was lining up another picture. It’s the closest I’ve got to documentation of a Monkey-Phase tackle.)


5 responses »

  1. Dude, I really want to meet Hurley. He sounds like the funnest dog ever. I love how you can overlook your wallet’s proximity to dog poop, just because Hurley is so awesome. I know how that is, though; I’ll forgive my cat for just about anything.

    And you bettah glue your sparkly deer down before I come out there and STEAL IT! šŸ™‚ It’s so cute. Now I’m seriously contemplating getting one for my own desk, and not just for Christmas. Of course, because it’s all sparkly, I can’t help but think of it as a VAMPIRE deer. God, I’m sick.

  2. I LOVE the Paperchase section in Borders as well. Holy hell! I cannot believe you wrote that because a few months back I was going to blog about it but didn’t because I couldn’t get my thoughts together about it. I am like sometimes, all brain farty with blogs. Anyway, I love your new sparkly new fawn and think it is purdy!

    I have never eaten at Olive Garden. I used to get the lunch take out at an old job in Eatontown. That is when I started calling their yummy pasta fagioli soup “PASTA FAGGY-OLI” because, well, that is how is is spelled dammit. I am a little snobby with my Italian food and shun chains; however, since you made it sound delicious, I will check it out one night. Hey, do you have Carabba’s in Arizona? They are a chain but are so yummy!

  3. Okay this is weird. Because I just went to Olive Garden last night, ate until I about popped and then went to Borders and fell in love with the exact little pink fawn you have! Hubby wouldn’t let me buy it though, mainly because the bright red sparkly raindeer scared him a bit I think. I love Borders and could spend hours and hours in there. It is my safe place. šŸ™‚

    I LOVE Hurley stories! He is such a joy and I am so glad he is a part of your life. I wanna meet him someday and bask in his adorablness. My girls have the same spurts f crazy play too and I love watching them. Pets are such fun!

  4. Pingback: Developments « I Can Has Diary

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