Just another “how did I get here?” day


I woke up feeling so run-down. That’s never good. Aren’t you supposed to wake up refreshed? Sure, maybe a little groggy, but once you’re up and getting ready, it usually goes away. Not today. I considered calling out but it’s such a short work week it feels dumb to do that. Tomorrow, I’ll be telecommuting, so that should help. For today, though, I have to just put up with it and try to get stuff done. It’s really not interesting or fun, though. I’d be so much happier back in bed.

Plus it’s a very bad hair day.

And I had to spend most of the morning doing admin work; it’s a monthly thing we have to do with a database and for some reason it took me forever to track down all the info I need. It’s because of that hellish story on carbon emissions I wrote… that damn thing had about quadruple the usual number of sources and press coordinators involved. Anyway, yeah, the morning’s already shot to hell and I feel like there’s very little to show for it.

I’ll stop complaining soon, I swear.


It’s just that kind of day.

Tomorrow I need to go to the social security office and officially change my name back. I’m at this strange stage where, if someone new asks my name, I find myself pausing just a little before I say it, because I’m kind of back to my maiden name in some ways, but I haven’t changed it anywhere yet. But I will be. Tomorrow, for instance. I’ll also go to the DMV and get a new license and everything, so the major places will be taken care of. But at the screenwriter meeting the other day, for example, I gave my married name but immediately wondered if I should have said my maiden name. It’s annoying, not knowing what name I really have right now. And it’s kind of trippy, too. I’m not looking forward to the moment it’s changed here at work, and my e-mail address changes, and people will be stopping by once they pick up on the change. Since I keep to myself with a lot of people here, they are likely to come by and say, “Oh, did you get married?!” And I’ll have to say “noooooo” and it will be awkward for all parties involved. I wish that part could just not happen. Maybe it won’t. Maybe gossip really does travel around this company and maybe people already know about the divorce, and will therefore leave me alone. I hope so. I never thought I’d wish for gossip.

So the other night, I downloaded some old Weird Al songs, and damned if they aren’t making me laugh out loud all over again, like I am back to being nine years old. The songs I downloaded are: “Another One Rides the Bus“, “The Rye or the Kaiser” and “Nature Trail to Hell! In 3D!” I’ve already got several other Weird Al songs, and I will always say that “Eat It” is the definitive parody song, since it is so clever and it’s actually better than the original. (In my humble opinion, anyway. And in my world, thinking about stupid things like the virtues of “Eat It” is a very important activity.) And if I do karaoke, I’ll do “Amish Paradise” if it’s in the book. I have done “Amish Paradise.” (“I’m the pious guy all the little Am-lettes want to be like/On my knees day and night, scorin’ points for the Afterlife/ So don’t be mean, and don’t be whiny/ Or else my Brother I’ll have to go medieval on your heiney!”) Because that’s the brand of dork that I am.

But yeah, something about these new three songs is saving me today. Nature Trail to Hell, in particular. I have the tune stuck in my head. I almost wish someone would ask me what I’m thinking about, just so I can say, “Oh, just Nature Trail to Hell. In 3-D.” But with the way I look like total ass today, with my bad hair and blah face, no one’s gonna be asking me SHIT.

This is a really lame blog post. I understand if you want to beat me about the head with garden tools.


22 responses »

  1. I love “Eat It”. My cousins used to sing it all of the time. That and “Mashed Potatoes Can Be Your Friends…” and the “Hey, Ricky” song.

  2. Have you heard “Trapped in the Drive-thru”? I love that one. The video for “Amish Paradise” is the best, though.

    Maybe, if you’re close to someone at work who is close to people you AREN’T close to (does that make any sense?), you could rely on them to kind of casually spread the word. That was it’s less awkward for everyone.

  3. Shades- Oh, “Dare to be Stupid”! I love that one, too! And “This is the Life” is great. Some of his original songs are just as good as the parodies. Take “Christmas at Ground Zero” for example… that’s a perennial fave for me and my sister.

    Fraulein- No, I can’t seem to place “Trapped in the Drive-Thru”… but given how much I love your taste in stuff like this, I’ll have to check it out for sure. And yes, I think I can get the “word spread” about the name change through my boss, actually. She knows everyone and they all like her… hopefully that’s a plan that could work out. Honestly, I can take it if anyone DOES ask me. I’d just prefer not to deal with it, if I had the choice. Y’know?

    How are you doing? You’ve been on my mind so much this past week. Did you get the package from me yet? 🙂

  4. “Amish Paradise” is my fave. Seems so obvious, but I don’t think I care anymore.

    You know, if someone asks you about your name you could just bluntly tell them about the divorce and watch them squirm. Their awkwardness could turn into a little laugh for you.

  5. SA- I sometimes slip the phrase “Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone!” into conversation; only the cool people ever get it. Otherwise, I think I come off as a supremely annoying geek-person. 🙂 And you’re right, it will be all about how I approach the name change thing. It could really be funny. Maybe I should get a sound effects machine so when I tell people “I got divorced” I can hit the button and a loud, humorous BOOOOIIIING! noise comes out. And everyone just laughs. It’s a one-way train ticket to Wackytown!

  6. Sorry you’re having a crappy day. I woke up feeling bad too but over time I started to feel better. It is good you are working from home tomorrow. Then there’s Wednesday which will hopefully go by fast tomorrow and then.. turkey day! Are you off on Friday?

    I LOVE Weird Al and think that is so awesome you downloaded his music because I still have yet to do so. I use a line from Amish Paradise too sometimes; when something is fun or I am looking forward to say, a party or going out I say, “Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1699.” HA!

    Oh and because you are super cool and I respect your opinion (and the other chicas) I told Nestor to keep an eye out for a “Twilight” bootleg online so we can watch it. He downloads movies and music all of the time from this one site. I will let you know if/when I see it.

  7. Holy crap, Naynay just admitted she might see the movie! I need a moment to collect myself. 🙂

    I love all of Weird Al’s songs but don’t have any on my pod. I’ll have to see if I can find some.

    I am sorry you are having an “eh” day. I hate those days. Where you don’t want to do anything but you don’t feel bad enough to justify not going into work. So are you too tired for our chat later tonight?

  8. HA HA, I am not joining any bandwagon sillies. I am seeing a movie that every single one of my blog buds are kvelling over. If you don’t speak Yiddish and don’t know what kvelling means put it this way, it is the same as: you’re creaming your shorts over that movie. Understand? 😉

  9. I have been to some epic concerts over the years (B.B. King, Pink Floyd, etc.) but, seeing Weird Al about 5 years ago was awesome. He puts on a fantastic show—including changing outfits with almost every song.

  10. Y’all are awesome. Lisa, “Trapped In the Drive-thru” is his parody of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet.” You’re welcome.

    Thanks for thinking of me. Your gift put a smile on my face. I keep snickering at you calling yourself a “scamp.” I am gonna wear this CD out.

  11. All right, my bitches. I gotta lay some shit down on y’all:

    There will be no more talk of puckering, kvelling OR creaming on this blog, ya hear me? Bunch of filthy broads around here. My God. I feel like I don’t even know who you ARE anymore!!!!!

    However: Weird Al is still cool. So is Twilight. And yes, I am off on Friday and I really am a scamp. I believe that wraps everything up with a little red bow.

    The red, crusty bow of scabies.


    That’s it. You’re getting your knuckles rapped with my long ruler of blog justice. THWAP thwap THWAP!! 🙂

  13. I am not the one making you want to rob people, am I? You’re sounding very hostile. Is it the itch from the scabies?

  14. Oy vey VP, you just don’t know. I am plotzing at the thought. Somebody get me a chair so I can rest my aching tuckus.

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