Aww, I love this! Angelina Jolie had better watch her skinny little back, because Charlize Theron is the new It Girl over at the United Nations. The U.N. just appointed her Messenger of Peace. For some reason, this is funny. When I picture a Messenger of Peace, why do I immediately visualize the angels from the Bible? So now I am picturing Charlize Theron as she would look if she were to play the role of Angel of the Lord in a local church’s Christmas Pageant. Big white robe, some wings, maybe a halo fashioned from a wire hanger and some tin foil…
I like Charlize Theron these days. Ever since she played Rita on Arrested Development. I never cared much for her before then, to be honest. Not that I hated her, she was just kinda…there. But suddenly she was playing a Mentally Retarded Female (“MR.F!”) on the funniest show in the universe, and I found that I respected and even liked her for doing that show. She was legitimately funny. That was it…she made me laugh, and as such, added her name to the roster of Actors and Actresses That I Like. I’m sure that, if she knew she was on this prestigious list, she’d be totally honored and all OMG!!
So here’s she is: our (very excited) new Messenger of Peace, Charlize Theron! I would like her to consider hiring Jason Bateman as her Assistant Messenger of Peace and Senior Vice President of Awesome.
Charlize: “Wow! I just got the most incredible news, Jason! I’m being made the Messenger of Peace from the U.N.!”
Jason: “Really? You don’t say. Huh. Well, congratulations, and here’s hoping that you never go out on a Peace Mission wearing your old Monster eyebrows by accident. ‘Cuz, you know how you like to do that from time to time.”
Charlize: “Yeah, you’re right. I can’t explain it, but I do love shaving them off and then watching them grow back! It’s like magic, but magic right there on my own face!”
Jason: “Right. Well, listen, just, um… you should probably stop doing that. It’s weird.”
Charlize: “You got it, J-Bates!”
*** the scene fades out to wacky music from Good Times. Because Messengers of Peace bring nothing but Good Times!***