I am in a mood today in which I don’t feel like taking other people’s shit. The first time I typed this sentence it said “I am in a non shit-taking mood today” and that just sounded like I was severely constipated.
I really hate reading that e-mail I posted below from STBX. It makes me angry. I’ll probably delete it or something because just re-reading it when I come to this page has pissed me off today. Because yes, I am bummed about the fact that tomorrow would have been our anniversary. Duh. Of course I would be. But I don’t need him reminding me of it. He can suck it.
Anyway, I wonder if I will receive those papers that finalize everything today, or what? Hmm.
OK, well, I am going to transition over to another email address for sure, very soon. Maybe this week. He sent that one yesterday to my personal email. Easy enough to cancel that one. Once my name is legally changed back to my maiden name, the work one will change as well. It sucks regarding that personal email, though, because I use that account for the majority of my bills. Whatever, I am just whining now. Whiiiiiine!
In other news, I finally got something accomplished today at work on my latest article. I wrote more than half of it today. Tomorrow I’ll wrap it up, as soon as one of my sources emails me his quotes that will help me fill in the blanks. Then I can move on to my February and March articles without this stupid subject matter hanging over my head for awhile. (My next two are on topics I don’t normally get to write about, thank God. It’s amazing how stagnant and redundant you can get when you write about the same business topic, over and over and over.)
I also completed my book’s outline.
This is a huge deal! Up until today, all of my thoughts were left to float around freely in my head, because I actually feared doing another outline. In the past, all of my outlines kind of shut things down for me because I would worry about the logistics of getting from point A to point B waaaaay too much and wind up with inaction, i.e. no writing. I’ve been approaching this incarnation of the book by chapters, a method that is working very well for me so far, and by writing sentence by sentence. It’s fun being surprised by your own writing, as you go. Already a couple of things have happened that I didn’t expect when I started out on this rewrite. And I find myself writing certain character reactions when something happens, even though I don’t totally know why those characters would be having that particular reaction yet. In other words, for example, I’ll have Jacob being kind of angry and uncomfortable at one meeting they’re all at, yet Z doesn’t know why he’s behaving like that. And neither do I! But, as of today…I kind of do know it now. And I’m glad I put that angry-thing in there, because it led to a whole other plot trajectory I’d never thought of before.
I love the creative writing process. There’s nothing else like it, except maybe improv. But improv involves lame performances and look-at-me attention starved actor types. Creative writing is so much cooler. Why? Because I say it is, OK?
Also, last night I dreamed something that I can use in the book. I was a character in the book in my dream last night (but not Zachary) and I did something kind of unsettling. I woke up so charged up. I wrote everything I could remember as soon as I got to work and turned my computer on.
Anyway, enough about that. I think I am choking to death on dirt.
It’s true. Dirt. In my lungs.
Yesterday I mowed my lawn. And by lawn, I mean the two patches of living grass so long it’d gone to seed out in the backyard. I did it, and a lot of dust got kicked up in the process. It was a very windy day yesterday, so that alone is enough to clog anyone’s respiratory system out here in the the desert. But I compounded things nicely by mowing. And then raking the dirt.
Yup, I looked at the dirt along the edges of my mostly-dead lawn and thought: “I should rake that.” I wanted to get up a lot of the dead straw-like stuff that Hurley keeps tracking into the house on his fur. But you know what? I could have decided to do this on a non-windy day.
The dirt was FURIOUS. It was all over me. I actually looked a little like Uma when she came into the diner after crawling out of the grave in Kill Bill 2 when I finished up.
All night long I was coughing and blowing my nose, trying to get the dirt out of my lungs and nose. It was disgusting and I was right to stay indoors for the duration, hiding my nastiness from the rest of the world. Next time I will get one of those white masks painters wear, and not doing it on a windy day. Yeah, right. I say that now, but I know how I am, and how I get carried away and think “I can do just a little more…” and wind up overdoing things. This tendency in my personality might be why I scored lower than expected on any IQ tests I’ve taken. (Do they test self-preservation on those things?)
Well, I have reached the end of the workday and as such, it is time for me “shut it down” and go home. Where my wonderful little dog awaits, probably with his disgusting new pork skin chew I bought him over the weekend, sticky gunk stuck in his ‘beard’ from gnawing on it all day long. Wonderful. Well, the chew might be gross, but he’s still a cool dude so all is forgiven. Unless he drops that thing on my bed anytime soon. Then, oh boy, it’s on. 🙂