By default


Yesterday, I received a copy of the application and affidavit for default in the mail. I didn’t know what to do with it, but today I found out: NOTHING.

Dissolution of marriage by default is a quick way to get divorced here, it turns out. I know he’d said something like “you don’t need to do anything else from here on out” not that long ago when I asked what we should do next, and now I get it. We have no property to split up (and we already kept/took the things we did each want from the house, and split up our finances and savings, so we don’t have to worry about going to trial over any of that stuff, thank God), and because I agree to the terms he put in the Petition, I guess I didn’t have to file a formal response. (I think I only had to do that if I wanted to contest anything that was in the Petition, but I don’t, so… divorce by default it is, then.)

So, technically, in about two months’ time I could be officially divorced. I think that’s pretty quick. Weird, but quick. And in this case, quick is probably just fine.

I have to admit two things. First, I was kind of bummed out to receive this in the mail yesterday. It just struck me a little to see documentation related to the divorce; up until then, yesterday was a nice, blissful day of not thinking about him or anything relationship-related. This came in the mail and it brought a brief depression with it. Second, it had his signature on it, dated the 9th… so apparently he is interested in just moving forward with divorce proceedings and not consider backing off and going the separation route. I guess part of me thought separation was still a possibility. This made me realize that no, it wasn’t.

The thing about yesterday is this: I only remained bummed out for about 15 minutes. Then, I raced around the yard with Hurley as we played our new game, which is wittily called, “RUN IN CIRCLES.” I just run in circles around the yard, and he runs with me, leaping alongside me and barking these cute little happy-barks. We end up panting on the patio after only a few minutes. I am out of shape (and he sort of is, too) , and it’s still hot as hell. We’ll be doing Run in Circles a lot, though, so I bet the circles will become HUGE once we are in top form. After running around/panting, I changed and went to see the movie last night. Which made me forget about the whole divorce thing, completely. I wondered if a romantic comedy of this sort could make me feel a little down right now, but it turns out: NO.

And yes, divorce is still clearly the BEST option here. The other day, my Mom told me the nicest thing. She said she thought I was “glowing” when we met for dinner, and that I look and seem a lot happier already. That made me feel so good. Other people can see that I did the healthiest thing I could have, and got out of that situation that was making me feel gross, tired out and uneasy all the time. That reinforces that I’m doing the right thing in moving along with this, rather than dragging it out for a long time and even attempting to try to reconcile at some point. It does seem like the more “good” days I have, the less I think about him at all or even entertain the thought of wanting him back. Could it be I am already starting to have FUN, this soon into the divorce process? It’s not even a full month ago that we filed.

Whatever, I’ll take it! Fun is so much cooler than… not-fun. 🙂

I mentioned in my comments the other day that the wooden fence in the backyard suffered intense damage in a storm on Wednesday night. Fortunately, the landlord was able to come by yesterday while I was at work and do some temporary repairs on the fence so at least the yard is secure again. They still need to replace the fence, and do it soon, because if it wasn’t on its last…posts… before, it sure is now. But at least I can let Hurley run free in the yard. (And we can Run in Circles again.)

Have a good weekend, everyone.


3 responses »

  1. Well, the fence got seen to really fast. Wow!

    As for that other thing, how much you wanna bet the papers arrivedi in STBX’s hot little hands some time during last weekend’s row between the two of you? Bet he was in such a foul mood he signed them right off.
    That’s my explanation for the speediness/date of his signature, etc…, anyway.

    As for you, you keep doin’ what you’re doin’ missy! It’s working!

  2. That just shows you what a manipulator he is. He is so angry about you leaving him and is so bitter, blah, blah, blah but yet he signs the papers in no time. So much for you wanting this to be over. I think his whole shtick was to make you feel guilty and like the bad guy because he didn’t get what he wants. If he really wanted to try and work things out, he would’ve not jumped into divorce nor would he have signed the papers like “that”.(snapp fingers here) Ya know what, L, good riddance.

  3. I get here so late everyone has the best comments before me. 🙂 but I agree with what everyone says so it’s okay.

    I thought of you yesterday. We had footage of the dust storm that rolled through Phoenix. Did you escape unharmed?

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