Cue Gob’s theme song here…

…because it’s the Final Countdown!

Last night I finished packing pretty much everything. All of my books are packed, about 99% of everything that is mine from the bathroom, the contents of my closet, and my two dressers have even been emptied of clothing so they will be simple to move. I only need to get a couple of things from the yard and shed now, and also sort out some tools so I’ll have some key pieces like hammers and screwdrivers for move-in day. I might have to buy some of that, since not too long ago we downsized our toolboxes and gave away duplicates of things to friends. (Wish I could have had the foresight to keep my stuff! I mean, who wants to spend precious money on buying something as boring as new tools?)

He is still being nice to me, but has toned down the affection. Thank god. He still shies away from talking about serious stuff right now, not wanting to talk about what will happen after tomorrow or anything like that. I cried a couple of random times last night as I packed, mostly when I’d come across sentimental things. The framed picture of us as we were biking over the San Francisco bridge (Golden Gate?) is particularly difficult to look at, and we haven’t even decided who is keeping it yet since we both attach such meaning to it. We’re smiling and look relaxed and happy together in the photo, and it makes me remember that giddy, fun feeling we felt in the beginning of the relationship. Man, we had fun back then! It felt like together we could do anything, go anywhere, talk about things until we fell asleep. That time feels like a century ago now, but it’s sad when little hints of the way things were come out every now and then. We had potential. We didn’t need to let this turn out the way it did. But it’s done, now, and there really isn’t any going back from this. I wish we could have just separated first before just filing for divorce, but… whatever, it’s too late for that. Oh, well.

I also made the mistake of reading some anniversary and birthday cards he gave me. I found them when I was packing a box in the office and they also gave me a punch in the gut when I read the awesome things he wrote. Things like “I am so grateful and excited that I get to be the man you chose to spend the rest of your life with…even when I might not be showing it as much as I should, know that I always love you with all my heart…” YEAH. Not good to read this stuff at a time like this. I’m an idiot. I put them away and don’t plan on pulling them out again anytime soon. I can’t just toss them in the trash. Not yet, anyway. Sigh…just another thing to get emotional about. I must stay away.

On a happier note, I am going to get the keys to my lovely new place in less than 45 minutes! I am so psyched. I also hope they cleaned the carpet. Why I woke up today hoping they had time to steam clean it…I don’t know. And it’s not like I saw any stains or anything on it. I just have a thing, I guess, about other people’s carpeting. I don’t like walking barefoot on it. Even in hotels, I ALWAYS have to be wearing slippers or flip-flops as I go from the bathroom to the bed. (Ever since one time in a kind-of seedy hotel, I was wearing socks around the room and when I sat and pulled the socks off, and the bottoms were BLACK, I’ve been ooked out.) Either way, at this house I am sure I’ll be OK one way or another. I’ll have someone come out and do it myself in a few days if they didn’t have time to get it done this week.

I’ve got to buy some random stuff. A handtruck, for starters. Possibly those tools I mentioned. Cleaning supplies. Hand soap. Paper products. Curtains. Lightbulbs and lamps. A DVD player. Some of it will be fun to get, though.

Well, here we go. Tonight I pick the U-Haul up at 5, and STBX is going to load it up himself (with my help of course; it’s not like I will be able to sit on the couch and watch TV while he does all the work, tempting as it might be). That way, tomorrow morning we can take the bed apart and load that on last, and after that I can just leave to bring everything to the new place. Where friends will be meeting me to unload the truck. I shall have to buy some beer and other refreshments, note to self. I hope to get the truck back to U-Haul by noon.

And then go with my mom and sister to the PetSmart to meet some potential dogs. 🙂 Man, that dog part…I can’t WAIT! Who’s it gonna be? This is so exciting. I can’t wait to train and spoil a dog in my own way without getting criticized for how I do things. This dog is going to get an awesome dog bed, new bowls, leash, collar, toys, chew bones, you name it. And oh yeah, a whole lot of hugs and cuddles. Yay!