Last night after work, I met the agent and paid for all my deposits and the pro-rated August rent in preparation for getting the keys on Friday morning at 11am. I signed the lease, and it’s official.
It felt good to get it done. I’m still taking his name off of my accounts and changing my address everywhere, and trying to arrange all the utility set-up… little by little, in between trying to actually focus on work. I have SO MUCH to do for my job, too. I’ve been such a space cadet this past month or so with all of this stuff going on, I’ve had a hell of a time clearing my mind enough to get decent writing and editing done. But today I finally outlined a difficult article I have to write, and hopefully that will help me just pound the writing-part out today and possibly tonight (since I am going to try to get it to the design firm by tomorrow morning…it is [gulp] almost two weeks late!) so it will be finished and I can move on to the next big article. Which is on new European carbon content laws. I know, it’s a very sexy and intriguing topic… try to remain calm about the coolness that is my job.
I got some real packing done last night, thank god. I need a lot more boxes, though, for all the books, especially. Books are hard to move. The boxes get heavy so fast. I can’t wait to create my own reading corner of the living room– I want to get a comfy couch with an ottoman, a fantastic reading lamp and some great bookshelves so I can openly display my collection. I’ve always wanted to create a special spot for reading. Now I can do it. 🙂
There are still so many emotions swirling around all of this. I’m nervous, even though I am excited. I am worried about the day (or night) when I start to miss him and think about calling him up or something. Ugh. I hope that because I am acknowledging up-front what the challenges will likely be, I will someone immunize myself from having to deal with them to the full extent. I’ll let you know how this strategy works. Either way, I am finding myself trying to envision all the possible scenarios and feelings I’ll go through, just to prepare somehow. I know it’s impossible to know everything that could happen. Yet I’m doing this anyway. Sometimes I feel completely in control and sane, and other times I feel absolutely neurotic. It might be awhile before I really feel like ME again.
Regarding dogs, Indy is definitely staying with STBX. We discussed it at length last night, and it really came down to what I thought it would: him being Hailie’s companion, and vice versa. It’s OK, I can take it. I’m going to mourn the fact that I can’t live with both of them anymore after Friday! I love them both to itty bitty pieces. But I recognize that this is an ugly truth that comes with breaking up a marriage: you always have to give something up, no matter who you are or who initiated the break up.
I’m currently considering putting in an application to adopt a retired greyhound. They have an adoption center right at the Phoenix dog track, and I hear they are all well taken care of there. I’d have to find one that is OK with cats in case I get another small dog or heck, even a cat… and I know it will mean the dog can never be offleash anywhere due to the sighthound thing. They are still amazing animals and I am intrigued by their personalities and gorgeous physiques. I really want a mellow cuddlebug. Who can occassionally join me on my hikes. 🙂
There’s also a lab/sharpei mix I’ve had my eye on for months now at one of the other rescues. This is “Moe”:
He’s older (6) so a lot of people are passing him by. But I love the older dogs. But he sounds nice and his picture is so endearing! The same rescue group also has Spanky, who is the survivor of truly repugnant animal cruelty. Here’s a link to his story, as well as his picture:
I’d like to meet both of these lovely fellows to see who I have a spark with.
So, that’s today’s update. I hope everyone reading this is doing well. I’m sorry for being out of touch on the comments on your blogs, but I’ll try to get better at that once I feel a little more settled and focused. (Shades- I was actually trying to comment on your posts today but the web wasn’t letting me access your comments box!)