Money has been paid; papers have been signed.

Standard

Last night after work, I met the agent and paid for all my deposits and the pro-rated August rent in preparation for getting the keys on Friday morning at 11am. I signed the lease, and it’s official.

It felt good to get it done. I’m still taking his name off of my accounts and changing my address everywhere, and trying to arrange all the utility set-up… little by little, in between trying to actually focus on work. I have SO MUCH to do for my job, too. I’ve been such a space cadet this past month or so with all of this stuff going on, I’ve had a hell of a time clearing my mind enough to get decent writing and editing done. But today I finally outlined a difficult article I have to write, and hopefully that will help me just pound the writing-part out today and possibly tonight (since I am going to try to get it to the design firm by tomorrow morning…it is [gulp] almost two weeks late!) so it will be finished and I can move on to the next big article. Which is on new European carbon content laws. I know, it’s a very sexy and intriguing topic… try to remain calm about the coolness that is my job.

I got some real packing done last night, thank god. I need a lot more boxes, though, for all the books, especially. Books are hard to move. The boxes get heavy so fast. I can’t wait to create my own reading corner of the living room– I want to get a comfy couch with an ottoman, a fantastic reading lamp and some great bookshelves so I can openly display my collection. I’ve always wanted to create a special spot for reading. Now I can do it. 🙂

There are still so many emotions swirling around all of this. I’m nervous, even though I am excited. I am worried about the day (or night) when I start to miss him and think about calling him up or something. Ugh. I hope that because I am acknowledging up-front what the challenges will likely be, I will someone immunize myself from having to deal with them to the full extent. I’ll let you know how this strategy works. Either way, I am finding myself trying to envision all the possible scenarios and feelings I’ll go through, just to prepare somehow. I know it’s impossible to know everything that could happen. Yet I’m doing this anyway. Sometimes I feel completely in control and sane, and other times I feel absolutely neurotic. It might be awhile before I really feel like ME again.

Regarding dogs, Indy is definitely staying with STBX. We discussed it at length last night, and it really came down to what I thought it would: him being Hailie’s companion, and vice versa. It’s OK, I can take it. I’m going to mourn the fact that I can’t live with both of them anymore after Friday! I love them both to itty bitty pieces. But I recognize that this is an ugly truth that comes with breaking up a marriage: you always have to give something up, no matter who you are or who initiated the break up.

I’m currently considering putting in an application to adopt a retired greyhound. They have an adoption center right at the Phoenix dog track, and I hear they are all well taken care of there. I’d have to find one that is OK with cats in case I get another small dog or heck, even a cat… and I know it will mean the dog can never be offleash anywhere due to the sighthound thing. They are still amazing animals and I am intrigued by their personalities and gorgeous physiques. I really want a mellow cuddlebug. Who can occassionally join me on my hikes. 🙂

There’s also a lab/sharpei mix I’ve had my eye on for months now at one of the other rescues. This is “Moe”:

He’s older (6) so a lot of people are passing him by. But I love the older dogs. But he sounds nice and his picture is so endearing! The same rescue group also has Spanky, who is the survivor of truly repugnant animal cruelty. Here’s a link to his story, as well as his picture:

I’d like to meet both of these lovely fellows to see who I have a spark with.

So, that’s today’s update. I hope everyone reading this is doing well. I’m sorry for being out of touch on the comments on your blogs, but I’ll try to get better at that once I feel a little more settled and focused. (Shades- I was actually trying to comment on your posts today but the web wasn’t letting me access your comments box!)

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5 responses »

  1. Lisa:

    I love both Moe and Spanky!!! What lovelies they are! I had two ex-racing greyhounds, Rosie and Archie for years and years. Rosie died suddenly of a brain tumor when I was pregnant with my daughter, and I had to go to the doctor and get a xanax so I could stop crying and get some sleep, I was so grief-stricken. Archie lost his battle to old age two years ago, but he lived fourteen good, strong, greyhound years.

    So I’d have to say I’m biased in favor of greyhounds. I’ll get more when the kids are older and can help take care of them (I’ll have to say, having a little dog – I have a shih tzu named Ernie – is a refreshing break from the big dogs’ poop piles and all). Greyhounds are very calm, relaxed dogs and I’m always surprised to hear people ask, “aren’t they hyper?” Plus, they’re big couch potatoes and want to sleep with you and stufff. Man they are the coolest dogs! I used to take them running, but they’re sprinters, not distance runners. I could never take one of them more than two or three miles.

    I’m so excited for you! I totally “get” the needing a dog-thing. That’s how I got Ernie. Six weeks after Archie died I was going through so much withdrawal I bought the first puppy I laid eyes on. It worked out well. 🙂

  2. I applaud the retired racing greyhound idea! THAT is an awesome one! Those are truly incredible dogs. Kansas and I stumbled across a rescue group of them hanging out at the local Petsmart when we lived in Indy and were lonely and anxious one day and needed to get out of the house. It was so SERENE being among them! Even Kansas, who was quite paranoid at the time (gee, I wonder why… couldn’t have had anything to do with her whackjob mommy…) picked up their vibe and actually sat with them by the entrance and insisted upon being petted, too. By EVERYONE. Even CHILDREN! *gasp!*

    I swear, I thought I was sitting by a pond amidst a flock of deer, instead of with a bunch of greyhounds in a pet supply store. Wow. That image stays with me- I draw on it when I most need to chill out.

    Contrary to popular belief, they are lovely couch potatoes who do enjoy nice walks/hikes… there’s even an attachment so that you can bike while they run alongside- but that’s not really necessary, unless they’re in training. However, it would be fun for the two of you…

    Moe looks adorable and I gotta say: I wonder why it is he’s still around after all this time, while the other one you were keeping an eye on was gone in a flash… 😉 Maybe Moe is it…

    Glad things are moving right along for you.

  3. I cannot believe how well this is going for you. I mean, I am sure this is not easy for you but you really have such strength to do all that you are doing. You set your mind to do it and you did it. That is great, -insert your name here-, it really is. What is your fake blog name by the way? Can we vote on it?

    And I absolutely LOVE Moe. He is so cute, I can’t even stand it. The other dog Spanky is cute too. I cannot believe someone would do such a terrible thing to a dog. No, wait, I can believe it. But I am glad he has a second chance and hope he will find a loving home with you or someone else.

    I love the greyhound idea as well. I always wanted to have a greyhound also but we are in no position to adopt a dog. Even though Moe and Spanky are quite lovely, I think you should get a greyhound. That would be so rewarding for both you and the chosen one.

    Well I have to get back to work. Now that I can read this at work; it is one MORE thing keeping me from processing these exciting address change endorsements on my desk. Don’t be jealous……. 😉

  4. Both dogs look like such sweeties, especially Spanky. I want to go get them and take them home with me right now. I’m glad you’re getting excited about your new life.

  5. If you feel like you need to call him, pick up the phone and call your sister or one of us. No need to feel lonely, there are plenty of people willing to express how much they love you! 🙂

    I love both puppies! Maybe you could get both? 🙂 Spanky would probably love a friend (and don’t get me started on the evilness of people who abuse animals…) Adopting a greyhound is also a wonderufl idea, something I have always thought about doing myself but my lifestyle is not condusive to owning a dog. I have always loved greyhounds and love the idea of giving one a great home after they are used so badly at tracks.

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